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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is often quoted, “When in Rome, do as Romans do.” Is it right that when people visit a different country, they should follow the culture of the country they visit? Do you think culture can be accepted without learning the language?

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Cultural sensitivity is often considered to be crucial by some
,
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 when visiting a country. In my point of view, I believe that accepting and adapting to the mores of a host state makes the journey far more joyful as well and I am of the opinion that devoid of speech awareness is a great barrier to exploring the culture of the destination. The main reason for accommodating
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of
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visitors to the customs and traditions of any host country is that it provides a more enjoyable and deeper travel experience.
In other words
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,
this
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 may increase the respect of locals for the individuals which, eventually, leads to more interaction between them. Take the scientists who are planning to visit Africa with the aim of exploration,
for instance
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. They are prone to be more successful if they know and accept the cultural identity of the indigenous people of that place
according to
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 a documentary named "Our Planet" by David Attenborough.
Thus
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, a visitor with cultural knowledge of the spot they are going to tend to be in a rosy situation during their stay.
Although
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 learning culture without knowing the local language is thought to be feasible by some, I am of the view that one cannot dive into the civilization of the destination, being unaware of the vernacular.
For example
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, speaking in the mother tongue of the citizens makes talking to them about their traditions, beliefs and history enable for a traveller.
Consequently
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, by doing
this
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, the guest can gain deep insight into the values of the hosts.
Furthermore
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, the lack of communication between the visitors and dwellers who are representatives of the culture of that nation causes going astray of the cultural study.
Hence
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, language is the key to learning any perception. In conclusion, by accustoming themselves to the lifestyle of locals, visitors stand a better chance to experience more escapades,
while
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 learning the local dialect of the area stands them in good stead for discovering its cultural value.
Therefore
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, language,
as well as
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 cultural awareness, is a must for any humankind who is visiting a new country

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas within and between paragraphs are logically connected. While your essay shows competency in this area, improving the clarity and organization of your points will enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a suitable introduction and conclusion; however, refining your thesis statement in the introduction and providing a more comprehensive summarization in the conclusion would enhance effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Back up your points with pertinent examples. Your use of documentary evidence was good, but strive to integrate more relevant examples to support each point made.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task with relevant ideas and supporting details. While you have managed to respond to the prompt, expanding on your ideas and giving more elaborated and precise examples would improve your score.
task achievement
Work on expressing complex ideas clearly and precisely. Your language sometimes obscures the meaning and may confuse the reader. Simplicity and clarity are often more effective than complexity in communication.
task achievement
Make sure to give detailed and specific illustrations that are directly linked to your arguments. Expand on the examples you present, providing sufficient detail and explanation for the reader to understand their relevance to the point being made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural adaptation
  • Social norms
  • Cultural immersion
  • Authentic experiences
  • Cultural understanding
  • Non-verbal communication
  • Cultural nuances
  • Cultural integration
  • Globalization
  • Cultural exchange
  • Cultural identity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Mutual respect
  • Personal growth
  • Traditions
  • Customs
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