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Band 6

A great number of people think that those with university education should get higher pay that those without, for they believe that the former have sweated and sacrificed more. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #education
A substantial number of
people
 argue that those who have tertiary
education
 should earn more than those who have not because they have sacrificed more time,
money
Correct word choice
and money
show examples
 and have done really hard work. From my point of view, those with the diploma should be well-paid
due to
 the efforts they have made.
However
, some
people
 could have gone through a lot of trouble in order to get a higher-paid job without having
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
education
. On the one hand, a good reason to make higher salaries for
people
 with tertiary
education
 is that they must have been studying for a long period of time to get the diploma.
Whereas
people
 without it, simply tried to avoid spending a couple of years in the
university
. On the grounds that they often think that getting a degree is not worth it and it is much easier to make money even without it.
In addition
, students with higher
education
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 a great deal of money on it.
Therefore
, their contribution can not be ignored and has to be paid back by the government in the future.
On the other hand
,
people
 without tertiary
education
 could have overcome many obstacles in order to earn more. It often happens that gifted, but underprivileged young men and women can not afford
university
education
, but they wish they could.
Thus
, those
people
 try their best to achieve something without it. The efforts they have made have to be rewarded by a good salary, at least. Another point to consider is that their knowledge and experience in the field can be much better than those with tertiary
education
.
This
 is owing to the practical skills which they possess and former
university
 students usually do not
due to
 the academic way of teaching there.
To conclude
, I am of the opinion that
people
 both
with
Correct pronoun usage
those with
show examples
 tertiary
education
 and
without
Correct determiner usage
those without
show examples
 should earn equally. Their salary should depend on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 knowledge and ability to do the work properly.
Submitted by miaqu138 on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to clearly state your position on the topic in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your main points and strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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