Education is important for young people in many countries. However, some people think that the government should spend more money on education for adult population who cannot read and write. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In many countries, there is an ongoing debate about whether the government should allocate more resources to improve education for adults who struggle with reading and writing.
However
, learning is crucial for both young and old generations. This
article will delve into my ideology before making a conclusive stance.
To begin
with, teaching kids is imperative to build a strong base for their future. In other words
, youngsters are great at learning, and they pick up lots of useful things that stay with them for a long time. A good education for children and teenagers makes them smarter, helps them make friends, and boosts their creativity. For instance
, a well-renowned school DPS in India is famous for its top-notch learning. They have spent a lot on teaching little kids, and that has made a big difference in how well they do in school and how healthy they are. Thus
, it is a good idea to focus on teaching the young ones.
Nevertheless
, one compelling reason to invest in adult education is the significant impact it has on a country's economic growth. When the elderly learn to read and write, they are better equipped to participate in the workforce. This
, in turn, leads to an increase in their income-earning potential and, consequently
, contributes to the overall
economic development of the nation. For example
, in India, the government has launched the 'Saakshar Bharat' campaign to address adult illiteracy. As a result
, millions of adults, particularly women in rural areas, have gained the ability to read and write. Hence
, financial support for educating elders is beneficial in the development of a nation.
To conclude
, having discussed the topic in detail, I agree that literacy for young people is undeniably important; nonetheless
, the regime must acknowledge the significance of investing in adult study. Therefore
, it is crucial for governments to educate both generations ensuring that no one is left behind in the journey towards progress and development.Submitted by THE TEACHING DESK on
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coherence cohesion
The logical flow of ideas could be improved. The writer should further refine the sequencing of thoughts to make the argument more compelling and cohesive.
greeting and closing
The essay appropriately initiates and concludes the discussion. However, the opening could be more direct and specific to the topic, and the concluding paragraph could reiterate the central argument more precisely.
single idea per paragraph
The essay maintains a primary idea per paragraph, which makes it easy for readers to follow the argument. Continue using this method.
complete response
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suitable writing tone
The tone of the essay is suitable for an academic essay. However, more sophisticated language and formal expressions could be used to improve the overall academic tone.
The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.