The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It seems that with the passing of time, people's health rate will turn to register a decline.

Although

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technological advances are improving our lives in a general way, I agree with the view that humans are lately following more unhealthy habits than ever. On the one hand, the paced lifestyle that a lot of people tend to have, due mainly to work responsibilities, deteriorates people's life conditions.

In other words

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, spending a huge amount of hours at the office gives you little time to practice sports or prepare homemade food.

As a result

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, we gain weight and our well-being conditions get worse.

Also

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, the abusive use of electronic devices could degenerate,

for example

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, in several diseases. Modern devices can make our lives easier and be negative for us in the same way.

On the other hand

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, scientists are working towards a future in which many diseases can be cured instantly. The consequences of

this

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hypothetical improvement in medicine would mean registering a prosperous average standard in relation to human wealth.

However

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, we are not in possession of a travelling machine that allows us to know what will happen in 20 years.

Thus

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, we can observe many changes in modern society thanks to science, but few have been related,

for example

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, to the cure of terminal illnesses.

To sum up

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, there are high chances of experiencing a general boost in the rates of human fitness.

Although

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improvements can be achieved

due to

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scientific advances, the actual situation leads to the possibility of a general deterioration of health conditions in the future.

inesmonterolavillaMon Nov 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay was well articulated. Paragraphs and ideas were connected smoothly, enabling a smooth transition from one point to the next. However, it would be beneficial to join a few of your ideas better for an improved flow.

coherence cohesion

Your essay had a clear introduction and conclusion, which allowed for a complete understanding of your overall viewpoint. This is important in delivering a well-rounded argument.

task achievement

While you made an effort to support your main points, more specific examples could have strengthened your arguments. Whenever possible, you can use relevant data or personal experiences to bolster your claims.

task achievement

You provided a complete response to the task, addressing the prompt fully. However, remember not to introduce new ideas or arguments in the conclusion. It's an area to consolidate thoughts rather than bring in new points.

task achievement

While your essay had comprehensive and clear ideas, at times they seemed a bit generalised. Take care to ensure your argument maintains focus and provides a clearly articulated viewpoint throughout.

task achievement

Remember to implement specific examples which support your viewpoint. By doing so, your ideas will appear more compelling and valid.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries insufficient respect is shown to older people. What do you think may be the reason for this? What problems might this cause in society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people think that movies should only be for entertainment. Others think that they should also have educational values. Discuss both views and give your opinion.