It has been noted that many people who had a big impact on the world gave themselves completely to their work and did not bother with the idea of “work-life balance”. To what extent should people try to have a good work-life balance?

It is true that numerous reports say the famous people in the world do not have enough
time
to rest and keep working all day. In my view, I cannot deny
this
phenomenon, but I believe that a good work-
life
balance is essential to a significant extent. On the one hand, I disagree that notables do not bother with the idea of “work-
life
equilibrium.”
Firstly
, everybody is unique so the feeling of tiredness may vary from person to person.
For example
, someone may ceaselessly work 12
hours
still feeling energetic, but others may only insist on 6
hours
.
Therefore
, everyone has their own thinking about the definition of work-
life
integration, and it is pointless to mimic these renowned men’s lifestyles. We should follow our pace to find the harmony of jobs and
life
belonging to ourselves.
On the other hand
, there are many benefits if the public has enough
time
to enjoy their
life
and does not spend all their
time
on their jobs. For one thing, appropriate working
hours
can help an individual to deal with things more creatively and efficiently.
This
is mainly because a period of
time
that is
enough to relax can assist people in reducing their stress, which means they can concentrate totally on their tasks. For another, balancing work and
life
can give employees more
time
to accompany their families or improve themselves.
For instance
, the 8-hour workday can guarantee at least 8
hours
that we can be arranged by ourselves. We can use
this
time
to have dinner with our kids or read a meaningful book to learn new knowledge. To summarize, I approve everyone should take work-
life
balance considering its advantages on jobs and
life
and find their best pace to achieve it.
Submitted by 1278948168 on

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task response
Your essay provides a complete and well-developed response to the question. You discuss both viewpoints and present your own opinion. However, you could have provided more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and coherent. You have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your ideas are logically organized and connected. However, you could have used more transitional words and phrases to enhance the coherence of your essay.
lexical resource
You have a good command of vocabulary and use a range of words and phrases appropriately. Your word choice is generally accurate and varied. However, you could have used more academic and formal vocabulary to demonstrate a stronger lexical resource.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good control of grammar. You use a variety of sentence structures and show a range of grammatical features. However, there are some minor errors in punctuation and verb tense consistency.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Well-being
  • Productivity
  • Fulfilling
  • Time management
  • Prioritize
  • Burnout
  • Boundaries
  • Dedication
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Efficiency
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