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Writing Samples
Band 8

In order to have a successful organization, managers should consider more than salary or wages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#organization #managers #salary #wages
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It has been said that for an organization to thrive,
managers
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 must look beyond salary and wages. I wholeheartedly agree with
this
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 perspective. There are various factors that
managers
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 should consider, with one of the most critical being employee recognition.
For instance
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, acknowledging the efforts
employees
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 put into their work, even on small tasks, not only boosts morale but
also
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 motivates them by demonstrating that their contributions are truly valued.
Furthermore
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, recognizing
employees
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 fosters a positive
environment
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 where everyone feels appreciated, leading to improved productivity across the team. What truly distinguishes effective
managers
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 is the
environment
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 they create for their
employees
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. An atmosphere that minimizes stress and negativity encourages individuals to share their ideas and promotes innovation. When
employees
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 feel safe and supported, they are more likely to collaborate, take risks, and think creatively.
Additionally
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,
such
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 an
environment
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 contributes to their well-being, allowing them to feel more relaxed and at ease.
This
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 sense of calm not only enhances individual performance but
also
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 strengthens team dynamics, resulting in a more productive and harmonious workplace.
While
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 some argue that high sales are essential for every department and can motivate people to work harder toward organizational goals, I completely disagree.
This
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 approach may achieve short-term targets but often creates a negative and competitive atmosphere.
Such
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 an
environment
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 emphasizes individual achievements at the expense of teamwork and undermines essential human aspects like collaboration and interaction. In conclusion,
managers
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 play a crucial role in motivating others in the workplace, but they must go beyond merely technical approaches. They need to foster a positive
environment
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 that prioritizes collaboration, recognition, and well-being rather than focusing solely on sales.
Submitted by homa.nazrmian56 on

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task achievement
Focus on providing a balanced perspective by acknowledging other viewpoints before refuting them.
coherence cohesion
Break longer paragraphs into smaller sections to enhance readability and aid logical flow.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state and support the writer’s viewpoint.
task achievement
Key ideas such as employee recognition and positive work environment are well-supported with examples.
coherence cohesion
Smooth transition between paragraphs and clear linking words enhance the essay's flow.
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