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Band 5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
People
are divided
Change the verb form
have divided
show examples
 their views regarding the destination of professional dedication, whether it should be given to
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
country
 where they pursue study or granted freedom to work in any
provincial
Replace the word
province
show examples
 as they wish. Apparently, I believe that the view which requires professionals to work in the region of their training place is mainly associated with the significant amount of tuition fee though the opposite opinion is driven by the rights of the workers. Generally,
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
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such
 as doctors and engineers pursued the high quality of education provided by
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
 where they went to study, which
accordingly
, required them to make professional contributions to that nation.
For instance
, postgraduate students are granted scholarships tied with a contract to work in the hosted
country
 for one to two years afterwards their graduation.
Thus
,
this
 evidence supports the high-priced training fee as the main consideration to demand the skilled workers to give back to particular provincial that previously provided them education.
On the other hand
, people who are provided training by
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
provincial
Replace the word
province
show examples
 have the right of freedom to choose any workplace regardless of where they pursue their education.
For example
, a high-skilled engineer in Japan would be more beneficial if he worked in emerging countries rather than in his home region where he was being trained.
Therefore
,
this
 typical engineer or any similar professional has the right to
give
Verb problem
make
show examples
 a significant contribution. All in all, the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for different views that appear regarding the appropriate
country
 of works by the professionals are worth considering.
Submitted by kania.tunggadewi on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction could be more engaging and provide a clearer overview of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions.
grammatical range
Improve the accuracy of your grammar and sentence structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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