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Band 5.5

Today , many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problem does this cause? What can be done about this

#people #neighbors #cities
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Nowadays, most family have little time to socialize with their neighbours.
This
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 happens
due to
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 the busy life of individuals and the shyness of each person leads to limitations of relationship.
This
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 essay cites a few causes and provides some solutions to alleviate
this
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 issue. The main reason for
this
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 problem that the public does not know their neighbours is their busy lives. These days, individuals should work hard in order to provide welfare for their families.
For example
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, in a nuclear family, both men and women might have a nine-to-five job in order to earn high revenue.
On the other hand
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, there are always traffic jams in metropolitans, especially in rush hours. So employees are stuck in traffic and spend most of their time commuting.
As a result
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, they have no energy to communicate with their neighbours on weekdays, and at the weekends they want to rest and regain their energy to start the week energetically. The other important factor is that
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
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 are afraid to communicate,
thus
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 they do not have the opportunity to improve their connection. Shyness limits
community's
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the community's
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 confidence and makes
community
Add an article
the community
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 less talkative.
As a result
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, it makes
crowd
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the crowd
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 not have enough courage to start a conversation and reduces relationships.
However
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, there are some solutions to make free hours to socialize with each other.
Firstly
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, most countries have some traditional events nations celebrate. natio could plan a ceremony to celebrate these special events together.
For instance
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, they could gather in one’s home or if the building has a garden they could meet each other there.
In addition
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, families who have children could let them play with each other and strike a friendship. In
this
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 way, the child’s parents meet and get to know others’ parents as well. Improving confidence is
also
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 a way to help
community
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the community
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 expand relationships by actively communicating. In conclusion, economic situations and bustling lives have caused society to have less time to know the next-door families. But there are some suggested ways to rectify it,
such
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 as celebrating traditional events together or allowing their children to strike a friendship.
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure by using appropriate connectors and transitions.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more precise and varied terms.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence construction and grammar accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • isolation
  • loneliness
  • support network
  • sense of security
  • trust
  • cooperation
  • social support
  • integration
  • community events
  • shared spaces
  • neighborly interactions
  • neighborhood watch programs
  • community engagement
  • technology
  • connect
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