some people like to spend their liesure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

#people #liesure #time #work #coworkers #life

It is sometimes argued whether you should spend your free

time

with your coworkers and choose your

friends

from them or have

friends

out of your workplace and enjoy leisure

time

with them.

To begin

with, I think if you make

friends

with your colleagues and hang out with them, you'll be more satisfied at

work

. Because

then

you'll be working with your

friends

, and I consider

this

a blessing. You'll definitely enjoy your

work

hours owing to the fact that you're working in an office with people you like, and you know.

This

creates a sense of belonging and makes you

work

harder and with more passion.

As a result

, the

overall

quality and efficiency of

such

a system will improve significantly. I think spending free

time

with your coworkers is a beneficiary strategy.

On the other hand

, sometimes having

friends

out of your office and choosing to separate your personal life from your career, might be a wise choice. Because if not

Rephrase

apply

show examples

, it could result in uncomfortable situations at

work

For example

, I had a friend who was my coworker at the hospital, we were close

friends

for about two years until we had an argument that eventually ended our friendship. after that, I had to see him from

time

and

work

with him, those were terrible moments. Having

friends

out of the

work

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

can lead you to meet new people, learn new things, and avoid getting stuck in a limited circle of people, and your life will probably be more interesting and less likely to be boring. In conclusion,

although

having

friends

outside of your workplace can be interesting, I personally believe having

friends

who are your coworkers at the same

time

, is an opportunity that you should be grateful for.

Submitted by mohsen.pn1998 on Mon Nov 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

You've presented a clear argument and presented viewpoints on both sides of the debate, but remember to make sure each paragraph addresses distinct points. Make sure your paragraphs are cohesive and clearly organized.

task achievement

Your essay addressed the task response quite well and the clear introduction and conclusion help to define the essay's direction. However, the instructions asked you to 'discuss both sides'. Make sure you maintain an objective discussion and present a balanced view.

lexical resource

The variety of vocabulary used in your essay is quite good but you could improve your lexical resource score by using a greater range of vocabulary. Make sure the words you use fit precisely with the context.

grammatical range

Your grammar and punctuation are adequate, but there were a few errors that could have been avoided. Keep focusing on improving your grammatical range to avoid such errors in the future.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

colleagues
team-building activities
work-life balance
socialize
networking
boundary
privacy
personal relationships
stressful
detrimental
efficiency
distractions
professionalism
segregation
personal time
maintain relationships

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some people like to spend their liesure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people today prefer to get advice for medical problems from the internet and do not want to visit a doctor. Why is this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

write a complaint about visa follow up by agents descrive the probelm

While some think family run business is the best way to run it , others think Family run business is problematic. What is your opinion.

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinges upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.