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Band 4

Nowadays a lot of young people use social media. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #media
Individuals believe nowadays most younger
using
Wrong verb form
people use
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 the internet or in general
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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social
media
 . Actually
will
Verb problem
apply
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not younger in our time they don't have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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electronic
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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 because of it's importance to teenagers should keep them at home and not play in the streets and roads
also
according to
 most of the families we asked said that electronic devices keep the house quiet from noise . In fact, I think that the talk about children not using social
media
 is incorrect
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because most or most people make their children use electronic devices to a large extent , Many features the social
media
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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make the younger smarter than the
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
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 generation because they make younger search about what he needs .
According to
 the International Junior Magazine
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
important
Add a missing verb
is important
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 even in a school because it is included in class activities which does not make the child get bored
of
Change preposition
with
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 the classes , Honestly social
media's
Change noun form
media
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It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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creates an effective and educational benefit for young people to make them smarter . in conclusion , we must
need to
Verb problem
use
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 social
media
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
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life whether young or old age , Without social
media
Add the comma(s)
media,
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 keep in mind that if you give a child electronic devices when he is young, he will not grow up and learn
on
Change preposition
from
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 them. Rather, he loves to learn from a young age, which will be of great benefit to him and his future.
This
 will give him new experience or he can develop himself and create an electronic project in the mind that cannot be measured by age .
Submitted by qtr398 on

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task response
Make sure to address the prompt clearly and focus on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of social media.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Work on improving your grammar accuracy and range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Knowledge sharing
  • Social engagement
  • Digital marketing
  • Networking opportunities
  • Cybersecurity
  • Online privacy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social awareness
  • Echo chamber effect
  • Information overload
  • Digital footprint
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