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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the results of the survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London thought of the city

The bar chart shows the results of the survey conducted over a three-year period to discover what people who live in London thought of the city
#bar #results #survey #period #people #london #city
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This
Linking Words
 chart illustrates the percentage of interesting things about
London
Use synonyms
 by its people's thoughts. It is divided into 6 sectors, which are the range of shops, job opportunities, the mixture of community, museum and art galleries,
nightlife
Use synonyms
, and transport from a 3-year
survey
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, most society thought that the range of shops was the most attractive thing in
London
Use synonyms
. In the first-year
survey
Use synonyms
, it shows that the less interesting scope from
London
Use synonyms
 is museums and galleries which got 22%. Next, the second-year
survey
Use synonyms
 shows
nightlife
Use synonyms
 and transport as the most uninteresting sectors in
London
Use synonyms
 which were chosen by 20% of people.
Last
Linking Words
, the third-year
survey
Use synonyms
, depicted the lowest value was
nightlife
Use synonyms
 which got only 22%. If it's looked from the average value the first place of the interesting factor was taken by the range of shops, which was followed by job opportunities, a mixture of people, museums & art galleries, and the
last
Linking Words
 place is
nightlife
Use synonyms
 and transport which their average value is 23%.
Submitted by rlsatria on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, nightlife, survey with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • results
  • conducted
  • three-year period
  • discover
  • thought
  • city
  • overall satisfaction
  • opinions
  • safety and security
  • transportation
  • perceptions
  • cleanliness
  • cultural and recreational activities
  • attitudes
  • cost of living
  • feedback
  • healthcare services
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