Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

At present, when
people
face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health problems, they prefer using
medicines
and curing by
non-professional
Fix the agreement mistake
non-professionals
show examples
rather than going to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
. In my opinion, I believe that
this
is a negative development because patients will not recover from their sickness. Some
medicines
are sold by normal
people
who have little knowledge.
People
are increasingly trying alternative
medicines
since medical treatments at the hospital are expensive and some
people
cannot afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
As a result
, patients prefer to buy
medicines
from local
shop
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shops
show examples
in the community. When they
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
to the shop, they may select
medicines
wrongly as they do not have knowledge and
seller
Correct article usage
the seller
show examples
is non-pharmacy. In that event, patients cannot recover from
illness
since the
medicines
have no potential
in curing
Change preposition
to cure
show examples
the diseases.
In addition
, some medical care
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
Change the word
locally
show examples
owned by non-professional who is
finding
Verb problem
making
show examples
profit
Correct article usage
a profit
show examples
.
As
Correct word choice
People
show examples
people
prefer other treatments outside
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
because it cheaper and have tons of reviews. When
people
enter
to
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apply
show examples
this
treatment, at first they will find it nice but after that diseases are more severe for the reasons that
non-professional
Fix the agreement mistake
non-professionals
show examples
doing it wrongly and they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not have knowledge of curing
people
.
For example
, a recent study
have
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has
show examples
shown the Chinese treatment that
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
glasses and heat to identify
illness
in the back of
body
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the body
show examples
,
this
treatment could help to cure the disease and
also
make
people
hurt.
To conclude
, alternative
medicines
and treatments that do not come from
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
have negative effects of
stucking
Correct your spelling
stuck
in
illness
and severe diseases.
Thus
, seeing a doctor is the best way to help
people
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
illness
.
Submitted by fah on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present your main points and provide a strong thesis statement. Provide supporting details to develop your ideas.
task achievement
You should thoroughly address the prompt by presenting a clear opinion and providing relevant examples. Focus on providing comprehensive ideas with specific examples to support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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