Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
At present, when
people
face with
health problems, they prefer using Change preposition
apply
medicines
and curing by non-professional
rather than going to Fix the agreement mistake
non-professionals
hospital
. In my opinion, I believe that Add an article
the hospital
this
is a negative development because patients will not recover from their sickness.
Some medicines
are sold by normal people
who have little knowledge. People
are increasingly trying alternative medicines
since medical treatments at the hospital are expensive and some people
cannot afford it
. Correct pronoun usage
them
As a result
, patients prefer to buy medicines
from local shop
in the community. When they Fix the agreement mistake
shops
going
to the shop, they may select Wrong verb form
go
medicines
wrongly as they do not have knowledge and seller
is non-pharmacy. In that event, patients cannot recover from Correct article usage
the seller
illness
since the medicines
have no potential in curing
the diseases.
Change preposition
to cure
In addition
, some medical care in
Correct your spelling
is
a
Correct article usage
apply
local
owned by non-professional who is Change the word
locally
finding
Verb problem
making
profit
. Correct article usage
a profit
As
Correct word choice
People
people
prefer other treatments outside hospital
because it cheaper and have tons of reviews. When Add an article
the hospital
people
enter to
Change preposition
apply
this
treatment, at first they will find it nice but after that diseases are more severe for the reasons that non-professional
doing it wrongly and they Fix the agreement mistake
non-professionals
did
not have knowledge of curing Wrong verb form
do
people
. For example
, a recent study have
shown the Chinese treatment that Change the verb form
has
use
glasses and heat to identify Change the verb form
uses
illness
in the back of body
, Add an article
the body
this
treatment could help to cure the disease and also
make people
hurt.
To conclude
, alternative medicines
and treatments that do not come from hospital
have negative effects of Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
stucking
in Correct your spelling
stuck
illness
and severe diseases. Thus
, seeing a doctor is the best way to help people
from
Change preposition
with
illness
.Submitted by fah on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly present your main points and provide a strong thesis statement. Provide supporting details to develop your ideas.
task achievement
You should thoroughly address the prompt by presenting a clear opinion and providing relevant examples. Focus on providing comprehensive ideas with specific examples to support your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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