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Band 4.5

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation.to what extend do you agree or dis agree.

#think #generation #steps #environment #dis
Climate change has been drastically rapid on the earth. Pollution
people
Change preposition
from people
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 found the main source of
this
 situation.
However
, young
people
 are trying to solve the environmental issue for the next
people
. But to some
extent
Add a comma
extent,
show examples
 it is true, that old
people
 are not fully aware of the harmful effects of the climate and doing the same things.
This
 essay will elaborate
further
 in the following paragraphs. Older
people
 have been working throughout daily life so they are causing problems in the
environment
.
Besides
this
, global warming is highly dangerous for human life. Using technology devices has been increasing fossil fuels and pupils are badly affected by it.
However
, buildings are constructed in the towns and source of greenhouse gases. A very good example,
this
 causes warming and is affecting various aspects of climate, including surface air and ocean temperatures, precipitation, and sea levels. There is a need for individual and collective action to address environmental issues.
In addition
, to protect the
environment
 through environmental conservation and organise seminars to aware
people
.
Furthermore
, Deforestation become
discourage
Wrong verb form
discouraged
show examples
 and growing plants more in the cities. It can
also
 reduce fuel
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 to decline motor vehicles and encourage cycling or walking.
Moreover
,
people
 may use those products which are eco-friendly and promote them in the community. Taking steps to protect the
environment
 is essential for the well-being and survival of future generations. In a nutshell, the present generation has made efforts to save the world. In my opinion, the young generation is not acting
accordingly
 ecosystem because they are considered lightly to
this
 issue. Protecting the
environment
 is not just about the next generation, but
also
 about ensuring a better quality of life for ourselves.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and that the ideas are logically organized within each paragraph.
task response
The introduction and conclusion provide a general overview, but they could be more specific and fully address the task question. The main points lack depth and clarity, and the specific examples do not effectively support the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental conservation
  • sustainable practices
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • ecosystem
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • conservation
  • global warming
  • greenhouse gases
  • natural resources
  • renewable resources
  • fossil fuels
  • reducing emissions
  • eco-friendly
  • recycling
  • alternative energy
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