Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The majority of

people

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believe that the retirement

age

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for some individuals who live much longer should be extended. I disagree with the statement that older

people

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who live longer than others must work in old

age

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. On the one hand,

people

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aged over 60 can not work very well because their brains and

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

are worn out and at

this

Linking Words

age

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, many of them have health problems

such

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as Alzheimer's.

In addition

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, working in any job have some requirement

such

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as mental readiness and a strong physical body

hence

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older

people

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can not do activities or think well.

For example

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, my grandfather is 65 years old and has medical issues, he can not walk more than 15 minutes because their knees feel in pain my grandfather has retired but at a younger

age

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, he was a strong man and worked for different companies but now he deserves to stay at home and relax.

On the other hand

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, older

people

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gain valuable expertise during their lives for that reason we can ask for help to learn their knowledge and experience to do our obligation very well. I believe that extending retirement for

this

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type of

people

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is unhelpful.

For instance

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, in my university, many of the teachers were over 60 years old so they could not express the content well so I had to learn courses on my own.

To sum up

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, I think older

people

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deserve to relax and rest in old

age

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and an important task is that they can teach their experience to other

people

Use synonyms

sh.sharifpour79Sat Nov 11 2023

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Task Response

Ensure a clear and direct response to the prompt throughout the essay. Address all parts of the task to maintain a focused and relevant discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop a more organized and interconnected structure for the essay, with clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure cohesive links between ideas and paragraphs for improved coherence.

Lexical Resource

Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and use it accurately to express ideas more precisely. Use appropriate lexical resources to enhance the depth and clarity of the essay.

Grammatical Range

Demonstrate a greater control of grammar and sentence structure to convey ideas accurately. Use a variety of sentence structures and eliminate errors to enhance fluency and coherence.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that housing is a basic human right for all individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.