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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
#floor #plan #library #years
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The diagrams illustrate the changes of Central Library from 20 years ago until
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 day.
Overall
Linking Words
, there has been
a significant changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a significant change
significant changes
show examples
 in the facilities and the size of some rooms has expanded.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, 20 years ago, the first
room
Use synonyms
 on the right side from the entrance was used for enquiry for tickets, book returns, etc. In the present day, the
room
Use synonyms
 is replaced with the Cafe. The
room
Use synonyms
 that
previously
Add a missing verb
was previously
show examples
 used for children's
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 is replaced
into
Change preposition
with
show examples
Correct article usage
a
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lecture
room
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the space between
children's
Correct article usage
the children's
show examples
books
Use synonyms
room
Use synonyms
 and
enquiry
Correct article usage
the enquiry
show examples
room
Use synonyms
 that was previously used for adult non-fiction
books
Use synonyms
 is replaced by
information
Correct article usage
an information
show examples
 desk with three self-service machines and a number of adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
. On the left side from the entrance, the reading
room
Use synonyms
 (newspapers & magazines) was demolished and now is used
for
Change preposition
as
show examples
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
room
Use synonyms
. The
room
Use synonyms
 at the back that was used for CDs, videos, and computer games was expanded and now is used for
story telling
Correct your spelling
storytelling
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 events with two sofas and children's fiction
books
Use synonyms
. The space in between that was previously used for adult fiction
books
Use synonyms
 is replaced by all reference
books
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, tables and chairs at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the library
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 now removed.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words room, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • layout
  • shelving
  • reading area
  • reference section
  • encyclopedias
  • dictionaries
  • circulation desk
  • transactions
  • digital media
  • computer stations
  • multimedia rooms
  • café area
  • social environment
  • leisure-friendly
  • expanded reading areas
  • user experience
  • comfortable seating
  • children's section
  • engage younger readers
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