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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed.
#data #consumption #resources #countries #world #population
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the three pie charts illustrate the expenditure and the usage of five categories of resources and provide the information about distribution of
Use synonyms
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the largest resource
consumpsion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 occurs in the USA & Europe, the most significant
population
Use synonyms
 resides in Asia, and global expenditure comes to
'others'
Correct article usage
the 'others'
show examples
 category.
To begin
Linking Words
, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
glance
Add a comma
glance,
show examples
 it is clear enough to know the most significant part of the
Use synonyms
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 live in Asia 57%, followed by Europe and America
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 have
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 value which is 14% respectively,
whereas
Linking Words
 slightly larger than Africa 10%.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the majority of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
show examples
 in Asia,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 the
consumpsion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of resources
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
made up the highest part of the USA and Europe.
According to
Linking Words
 the first chart,
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 category
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributed the most to the
Use synonyms
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 outlay, followed by transport, food, and housing accounted for 24%, 18%, and 12% respectively. In comparison, people
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent less of their money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 clothing which means
'cloth'
Correct article usage
the 'cloth'
show examples
 category was the smallest segment
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
world
Use synonyms
 spending.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words world, population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • data
  • spending habits
  • consumption
  • resources
  • population distribution
  • comparison
  • patterns
  • developed countries
  • developing countries
  • implications
  • disparities
  • environmental consequences
  • social impacts
  • sustainability
  • economic development
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