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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

thw graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

thw graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#thw #information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The line chart illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the inhabitants in four Asian countries who stayed in metropolitan
areas
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 from 1970 to 2020, with additional forecasts for 2023 and 2040. In general, the percentage of
population
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the population
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 in the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia stayed in metropolitan
areas
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 experienced an upward trend from 1970 to 2020.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the number of the inhabitants in city is
also
Linking Words
 expected to increase. In detail, the
proportion
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 of Indonesians living in metropolitan
areas
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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 increased significantly in the past 50 years from about 15% in 1970 to around 50% in 2020 and it is expected to increase to around 60% in 2030 and 2040.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Malaysia had
also
Linking Words
 risen dramatically, stood at 30% in 1970 and reached just over 70% in 2020. It
also
Linking Words
 can be seen that the
proportion
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 of Malaysians
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
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 in big towns is predicted to increase by around 80% in the same years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the Philippines, the
proportion
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 of citizens
stayed
Wrong verb form
staying
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 in metropolitan
areas
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 had fluctuated from just over 30% in 1970 to over 40% in 2020 and it is expected to reach 50% in 2030 and over 50% in 2040.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Thailand's
citizen
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citizens
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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gradually increased from just under 20% in 1970 to around 30% in 2020 and it is
also
Linking Words
 expected to reach 40% in 2030 and over 40% in 2040.
Submitted by diyolory on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, similarly".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, areas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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