Nowadays parents in many countries give their children more freedom than in the past. Is this a positive or negative trend?

It is observed that these days, most
parents
are lenient. In connection with
this
view,
children
all over the world have been given more
freedom
compared to the past. I endorse
this
perspective
due to
the potential positive consequences it poses. First and foremost,
this
kind of parenting style can enhance
children
’s living satisfaction and emotional stability since
parents
respect their personal aptitude
instead
of suppressing or confining them.
For example
, if the
parents
apply only monotonous regulating standards,
such
as a good school grade in textbook-based study, like math and science, their
children
could feel cramped and unhappy.
On the other hand
, if
parents
allow the
children
to do their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
activities,
children
can be more creative and flexible people. Aside from that they can find out their own natural affinity over the interests, experiencing various opportunities which they choose. Another reason commonly put forward is that
parents
can teach
children
independence and responsibility followed by
freedom
of choice. To be more specific,
children
can acquire independence by self-decision-making, with their
freedom
guaranteed. At the same time, they can learn how to fulfil their duties, not counting on their
parents
.
For instance
, if
children
choose to go to bed late at night, they have to be responsible for their behaviour the following morning and go to school on time.
Likewise
,
children
can grow up as a less reliant person who can substantially redress their own problems. In a nutshell, though some people still cling to maintain
overall
restraint to their
children
, giving
freedom
is more beneficial to
children
.
Submitted by moonmond15 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the examples are more specific and relevant to the main points. Try to provide more concrete and diverse examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is well-developed. Ensure that each paragraph is linked cohesively to the previous one, and use a wider variety of cohesive devices such as linking words and transition phrases.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to incorporate more complex and specialized terminology to enhance the lexical resource. Ensure that the connections between words and ideas are more precise and specific.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structures, and ensure that sentence variety is utilized effectively. Address grammatical errors and complex sentence structures to improve the grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: