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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

There are more families having only one child in the modern days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In modern society, a vast majority of people prefer to have only
one
 infant,
while
 others choose to have 3 or 4 kids. In my opinion, having 1 child is good as parents can provide the toddler with all the expensive things that he wants and make him happy, in the meantime he would feel lonely as he would not have someone close to talk to about his private life. On the
one
 hand, when a teen asks for
one
 costly technique mom or dad can purchase that stuff, as she is the only child, the teenager will feel satisfied and it will bring him positive emotions. They can buy whatever they want as they do not have other kids's expenses.
For instance
, when a parent has a low income he can not provide his 2 kids with the new iPhones, for the reason that 1 phone costs approximately 900$ or 1000%, so it is preferable to have only
one
 kid, as every parent wants to make happy their kid and it would be upsetting to see that sad emotion.
On the other hand
, every kid wants a sibling to share secrets rather than be alone. It is obvious that only siblings can be best friends with a brother or sister. Because they will live together in
one
 house for years and they will know their preferences and tastes. By
this
, they will understand each other as no
one
 could.
For example
, when in the movie Friend, a girl named Sara always wanted to have a sister as no
one
 wanted to talk to her ,and
due to
this
, she felt lonely. In conclusion, only
one
 child in the family can get everything he or she wishes for, by
this
 he would be satisfied and happy,
while
 it can
also
 cause loneliness as he can not talk privately with someone. It is predicted that, in 2065, the birth rate will go down by 58 per cent.
Submitted by aizered097 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Work on diversifying your vocabulary to avoid repetition and to accurately express your arguments.
Task Achievement
Try to develop your arguments further by providing more detailed examples and explanations to fully address the prompt.
Task Achievement
Ensure you address both sides of the argument evenly to fully respond to the task question.
Task Achievement
Make sure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a good basic structure.
Task Achievement
You have attempted to use examples to support your points, showing an understanding of how to build an argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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