IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In your opinion, do you think that all children should be taught in a school environment? Say why you think home-schooling would not be a good idea and also point out some benefits for this chosen form of education.

#children #school #environment #idea #point #form #education
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Some people believe that private tutoring at
Use synonyms
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
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 is more beneficial because of its ability to offer more attention and a better environment for studies. Despite
this
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,
i
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I
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 believe that the contemporary
schools
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, which
includes
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include
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, the specialists and infrastructure attuned
for
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to
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 education, cannot be duplicated at
Use synonyms
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
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 and is a far better choice. The biggest advantage of
a
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apply
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home oriented
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home-oriented
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 training is that it offers focused learning and less distracting.
Students to educators
Correct your spelling
The student-to-educator
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 ratio is
more
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higher
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 in
schools
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, which means that
teachers
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 can not
provided
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provide
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 undivided attention to every
children
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child
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.
Hence
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,
one to many
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one-to-many
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 education provides
an
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apply
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increased guidance to students which helps in clearing their doubts easily to understand difficult subjects.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are less distracted at home because children are known to lose their concentration easily, like chatting with others and using mobiles in class, if they are not consistently monitored by the
teachers
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 ; which, is again, not feasible for
teachers
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 to do so in classes with a large number of pupils.
However
Linking Words
, in spite of
benefits
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the benefits
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,
the
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apply
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traditional
schools
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 are still superior compared to private tutoring and
expertise
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the expertise
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 of
teachers
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 cannot be replicated at home. What
i
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I
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 mean, is that it is financially burdensome for parents to use all the technology and techniques of edification employed at
schools
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the libraries at school have
plethora
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a plethora
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 of
paper based
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paper-based
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 study materials which will be an expensive pursuit for parents to provide the same at
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homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
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 because of their financial constraints.
Also
Linking Words
, parents cannot match the skills of
teachers
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 who have
the
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apply
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years of experience and are
specialist
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specialists
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 in using
the
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apply
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sophisticated tools of teaching. In conclusion, It's true that
one to one
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one-to-one
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 tutoring at
Use synonyms
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
 is less disruptive and gives more attention to kids, but skilled educators and facilities at traditional education institutes
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
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 the benefits.
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure to greet and close the essay properly to establish a formal tone.
lexical resource
Focus on integrating more advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to avoid errors and improve fluency.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social development
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Curriculum
  • Pedagogy
  • Diversity
  • Structured learning
  • Professional educators
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Real-world challenges
  • Cultural exposure
  • Societal norms
  • Homeschooling
  • Peer relationships
  • Skill acquisition
What to do next:
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