IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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In the modern world,
due to
Linking Words
 the significant advances in
technology
Use synonyms
 and science, folks have an enormous variety of options to choose from.l truly agree that by developing
technology
Use synonyms
 and resources, our freedom of choice has been greatly enhanced. In the following essay, I will give my additional explanations. Primarily, thanks to the advancement of
technology
Use synonyms
 today individuals have many choices among thousands of options.
Due to
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this
Linking Words
, it is acceptable and reasonable to be unlimited in picking.
Furthermore
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, having quick access to an unbelievable amount of materials online gives us freedom and permits us to make educated decisions at every period of our lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, online shopping sites
such
Linking Words
 as Digicala and Amazon give us the opportunity to face a limitless variety of products.
In addition
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 to offering similar products, it provides detailed information about them.
Additionally
Linking Words
, folks are able to purchase products out of many items, especially electronic options
such
Linking Words
 as refrigerators, TVs, computers, smartphones etc. With the improvement of
technology
Use synonyms
, various and correct choices have been provided for citizens,
hence
Linking Words
 that it is trustworthy to choose the best ones by receiving information and high-quality quality.To confirm my words،there are many computers that suit the needs of each person which has its own unique quality and variety. So, it allows people to have an enormous selection for purchasing the desired goods. To recapitulate, my personal perspective is that having a lot of choices in any aspect gives us a chance to compare and select the best option to fulfil our requirements.
Submitted by s.hemmati.p on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly address the prompt and provide a roadmap for the essay. Use topic sentences to introduce each main point and ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt but provides a limited response. Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are covered, and support each idea with relevant examples and explanations.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use academic language to express ideas more precisely. Pay attention to word choice and use appropriate collocations and idiomatic phrases.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and punctuation to improve coherence and clarity. Use a variety of sentence structures and ensure accurate and appropriate use of grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
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