IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In modern society, some people argue that schools become unnecessary as children can study at home via the Internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#society #people #schools #children #study #home #internet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the era of globalization and modern technologies,advanced IT innovations have been applied more frequently than they used to be in the past. It is considered that schools become less vital in children's education when they can study at home through the
Internet
Use synonyms
, and I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. The purpose of
this
Linking Words
 essay is to examine whether studying online could be hazardous or not. On the one hand, access to the
internet
Use synonyms
 has made an individual's life much more convenient in terms of entertainment.
In other words
Linking Words
, people can interact with each other via the
Internet
Use synonyms
 and social media do assist human beings.
However
Linking Words
, in regard to studying,youths become indolent, losing their concentration to study. They desire to relax and kick back everything when they are at home.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it leads to misunderstanding the concept of education and becoming silly at the same moment.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, regarding their spare time, offspring spend their free moment with their nuclear and extended families via special gatherings.
This
Linking Words
 means that time spent in schools could be given for daily gathered dinners and activities that strengthen interconnected relationships.
For example
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 playing online games
such
Linking Words
 as chess and Monopoly, youngstar could cherish the moment spent with families
also
Linking Words
 they can broaden their horizons and do their assignments with pleasant feelings.
Hence
Linking Words
,staying at home and focusing on their studies at the same time,can motivate
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 to be fruitful and keep a balance between subject and family.
To conclude
Linking Words
, all aforementioned points illustrate that with the help of the
Internet
Use synonyms
,
jevenile
Correct your spelling
juvenile
juveniles
 can both study and relax, which leads to positive and negative consequences.As far as I am concerned, If we can utilise the
Internet
Use synonyms
 during school term,the scion would believe that they are in their snug homes.
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a clear position throughout the response. Make sure to directly address the question prompt and remain consistent.
task achievement
Support main points with more focused, developed, and relevant examples to back up the arguments you're presenting.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: