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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people like to spend their liesure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

#people #liesure #time #work #coworkers #life
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In recent times, the question of whether individuals should keep their private
lives
 separate from
work
 has sparked a contentious debate.
While
 some enjoy spending their leisure
time
 with their colleagues, others argue that their personal
lives
 and professional
lives
 should be separated from each other. In
this
 essay, I will delve into both perspectives and present my own viewpoint. On one side, those who like to spend their free
time
 with their colleagues argue that it fosters stronger professional
relationships
. By socializing outside of the workplace, colleagues have the opportunity to get to know each other on a more personal level.
This
 can lead to better communication and teamwork within the office, as individuals become aware of each other's strengths and weaknesses.
Additionally
, spending
time
 together outside of
work
 can create a sense of
camraderie
Correct your spelling
camaraderie
 and a supportive network, which can
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
 for career development. On the flip side, advocates of separating private life from professional life assert that it is crucial to have a healthy
work
-life balance. Spending too much
time
 with coworkers can lead to a lack of personal space and privacy, resulting in increased stress and burnout. By keeping leisure
time
 separate, individuals can prioritize their personal
relationships
 and engage in activities that bring them joy and relaxation outside of
work
.
This
 allows them to recharge and maintain a sense of identity outside of their professional
lives
. In conclusion,
while
 there are advantages to both spending leisure
time
 with coworkers and keeping private life separate from
work
, it ultimately depends on individual preferences and circumstances. Building strong
relationships
 and a supportive network can be valuable for career progression, but maintaining a healthy
work
-life balance and nurturing personal
relationships
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 equally important.
Thus
, striking a balance between the two is essential for
overall
 well-being and satisfaction.
Submitted by dy030 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and concise structure by avoiding redundancy and irrelevant details.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more concrete and detailed scenarios that illustrate your points to strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • colleagues
  • team-building activities
  • work-life balance
  • socialize
  • networking
  • boundary
  • privacy
  • personal relationships
  • stressful
  • detrimental
  • efficiency
  • distractions
  • professionalism
  • segregation
  • personal time
  • maintain relationships
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