Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Humans are intricate creatures, and studying their character, personality, and how they are affected by different factors is complicated.
As a consequence
, we face numerous theories about humans, and each one is based on a particular point of view. One of these hard questions is whether people are mostly affected by their childhood experiences, particularly, before entering school, or by their adolescence period, the time, and people they spend in school. In this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
On the one hand, as psychologists claim years under 7 are of high importance, and their neural system, the fundamental learning experiences, and their first observation of the world happen in that time. These prior experiments will stick to their memory and build the base of their future actions and decisions. Additionally
, at this
age, they have a direct interaction with their first caregiver who is the most impressive person of every single person. Moreover
, children confront many new stimulants which they are highly appealing to them, and due to
this
fact, they record them with so much detail. As I find these reasons pretty convincing, I agree with this
opinion.
On the other hand
, the time children enter the school, they become a new member of the community. At this
period, their identity is being made and, gradually, they become independent. Additionally
, they have to make friends and communicate with their peers. Despite the fact that all the aforementioned items are crucial for them, I believe the base of all of them is their experiences that have been built in their childhood.
To put it in a nutshell, both of these viewpoints consider different aspects of human life, and we cannot omit any of them. Eventually, the first idea which mentions the importance of childhood in their future life is more influential.Submitted by mehrasa.elahian on
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coherence cohesion
The essay structure is quite evident, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the coherence of ideas could be improved with better transitioning sentences and a more logical progression of thoughts.
task achievement
You addressed the task and presented arguments for both views, but the depth of the discussion could be enhanced by expanding on ideas and providing more specific examples or evidence.
lexical resource
The response possesses a good range of vocabulary but could benefit from more precise and varied linguistic choices to better express nuances.
grammatical range accuracy
The grammatical construction in the essay shows competence, but to achieve a higher score, aim for greater variety and complexity in sentence structures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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