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It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#live #performance #show #concert #home #tv #computer
Nowadays, people can enjoy movies and music through personal devices
such
 as laptops or even smartphones
due to
 information technology developments.
However
, there are some people who would put effort into watching an art show's direct shows
such
 as opera or live music events. In my opinion, I would prefer to attend the on-site performance despite looking at it on the screen for several reasons. Live-action theatricals or music concerts give exceptional experiences for some reason. We can enjoy the actors or singers presenting their artwork directly. There is no edited scene or tuned vocals
while
 they performed it in real-time shows so we would see their talent.
Then
, watching the artist's performance on-site could be a good appreciation for their works because people usually pay more and put more effort into seeing their actions directly through live shows. Enjoying the shows with other fans with similar enthusiasm
also
 gives another impression rather than watching it at home. Watching an event through an entertainment platform could be more efficient since we can access it whenever we like.
Nevertheless
, it has a drawback
such
 as the movies or songs might be adjusted to eliminate certain mistakes that could occur during the production, so the viewers were not able to judge their actions. In conclusion, I agree that attending live action would give a better experience rather than watching it through your personal devices, even though there will be additional effort to enjoy it.
In addition
, we could assess an artist's talent through their live performance objectively and accurately as a fan.
Submitted by cracko.eko on

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examples
Ensure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While your essay touches on the advantages of live performances, adding concrete examples or personal experiences can enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
structure
You have successfully introduced and concluded your essay, clearly stating your opinion. This strong structure guides the reader through your argument effectively.
counterargument
Consider developing your counterargument further. You've mentioned the efficiency of watching through personal devices but exploring this contrast in greater detail can add depth to your essay.
argument clarity
Your essay clearly communicates your preference for live performances, making a compelling case for the unique experiences they offer.
structure
The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, makes your argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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