IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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There are different opinions about whether
people
Use synonyms
 should demolish old
buildings
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 to give way to contemporary building designs or to keep conserving and protecting them. In my opinion, old
buildings
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 should be protected as they represent our past way of life. The modern architectural designs that
people
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 enjoy today truly signify beauty.
For instance
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, the intricate details and the complex materials of the skyscrapers in Dubai are truly remarkable. Aside from that,
houses
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 nowadays are built with the strength to stand resilient against natural disasters
such
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 as earthquakes. Indeed, the
society
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 has come far from the traditional
buildings
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 that used to be significant in the
society
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.
However
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, we cannot disregard the relevance and valuable contribution of the old structures that are still present today. They withstand the test of time and have witnessed memorial events that constitute the
society
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 we have now. One major benefit of these decades-old building is that it represents our cultural identity and originality.
Moreover
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, in some areas, old
buildings
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 serve as educational portals that allow
people
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 to feel the life of the past. One example of
this
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 is the stone
houses
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 of Filipino heroes, many students visit the place to see where Filipino fighters used to gather to plan battles against foreign rulers. By preserving
such
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 historical sites, future generations can
also
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 enjoy and learn about the things we present
people
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 experienced. Aside from that, old
buildings
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 and
houses
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 can become tourist spots,
thus
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, employment opportunities may open for the local
people
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 in the community. In conclusion, modern
buildings
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 are good evidence of societal development.
However
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, we should never consider old
buildings
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 and
houses
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 as irrelevant to
society
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 as they give myriad benefits to societal origin and cultural preservation.

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Task Achievement
Task response could be improved by further elaboration on your own opinion, ensuring that it is clearly stated and consistently developed throughout the essay. Make sure that the last paragraph effectively summarizes both perspectives and your viewpoint, adding depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, and use a wider range of connective words and phrases to enhance clarity and flow. Consider reordering some of the points for a more compelling argument structure.
Lexical Resource
Lexical resource was not assessed. To score higher, consistently use a variety of vocabulary and avoid repetition of words and expressions. Try to implement synonyms and more complex phrases to better express nuances in your points.
Grammatical Range
Grammatical range and accuracy was not assessed. To improve, include a range of sentence structures and demonstrate control over complex grammatical constructs. Be mindful of tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • paramount
  • evolutionary journey
  • tangible link
  • fostering
  • sense of belonging
  • architectural beauty
  • economic benefit
  • tourist attractions
  • preservation techniques
  • structural integrity
  • energy-efficient
  • sustainable architecture
  • cultural preservation
  • urban demands
  • contemporary lifestyles
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