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Band 6.5

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australias share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The charts below show the number of Japanese tourists travelling abroad between 1985 and 1995 and Australias share of the Japanese tourist market. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The graph given above represents the
number
Use synonyms
 of Foreign
Tourists
Use synonyms
 who held from
Japan
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 and their proportion in
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
 Market from the
year
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 1985 to the
year
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 1995.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
number
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 of
Japanese
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 who travelled abroad as
tourists
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 around 5
million
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 in the
year
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 1985. The
number
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 of
Japanese
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tourists
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 in the world increased at a constant rate from the
year
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 1985 to 1990. Later in 1991, the
number
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 of
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tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
 declined from around 11
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990 to approximately 10.5
million
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 in 1991.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1992 and 1993 , the
number
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 of
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tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
 who
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 from
Japan
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 equivalent to around 12
million
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. In the
year
Use synonyms
 1995, the
number
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 of
Japanese
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tourists
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were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
, crossing a figure of 15
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tourists
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.
Australia
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's share of
Japan
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's
Tourist
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 market increased exponentially from 2% in 1985 to around 5% in 1988. In the
year
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 1989, the percentage of
Use synonyms
Japan
Replace the word
Japanese
show examples
tourists
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 in
Australia
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 dropped to around 4%. From the
year
Use synonyms
 1989 to the
year
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 1993, the percentage of
Japanese
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Use synonyms
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in
Australia
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 increased in a linear proportion, Gradually, from around 4% in the
year
Use synonyms
 1989 to more than 6% in the
year
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 1993. And in 1994, the proportion of
Japanese
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Tourists
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 in
Australia
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 dropped to around 6%. In Conclusion, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Japanese
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
 in the world increased from the
year
Use synonyms
 1985 to 1995.The percentage of
Australia
Use synonyms
's share of
Japan
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's
tourist
Use synonyms
 market
also
Linking Words
 increased from the
year
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 1985 to the
year
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 1995.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, tourists, japan, year, japanese, million, tourist, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 7 times.
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