IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people believe that the government should invest more in public transportation to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Others argue that individuals should take more responsibility for their own transportation needs and that the government should not spend more on public transportation. What is your opinion? Discuss both views and give your own perspective." This prompt asks you to explore both sides of the argument and then express your own opinion on the topic.

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In today's modern era, the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest in public
transportation
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 to reduce
traffic
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 congestion and air
pollution
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.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that individuals should take more responsibility for their own
transportation
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 needs. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will justify both perspectives before presenting my opinion. To commence with, the investment in public
transportation
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 to reduce
traffic
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 congestion and air
pollution
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.
For example
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, the
government
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 should prioritize funding for public
transport
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 to alleviate
traffic
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 jams because improved public
transport
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 networks encourage citizens to shift from private vehicles which leads to reducing emissions.
Moreover
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, public transit is often more accessible and affordable which
benefiting
Wrong verb form
benefits
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 lower-income residents.
As a result
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,
government
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 expenditures on
transportation
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 can contribute to job creation and economic growth. Moving ahead, the individual responsibility for
transportation
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 is to encourage carpooling, walking and cycling could diminish reliance on public
transport
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.
For instance
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, technological advancements like electric cars and ride-sharing apps can reduce
pollution
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.
Furthermore
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, people often prefer the convenience and comfort of their own vehicles over public ones.
Therefore
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,
traffic
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 jams are more and the quality of air is
also
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 got contaminated. Noise
pollution
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 is
also
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 the cause of
transportation
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.
Additionally
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, compressed natural gas is used as a fuel in cars to reduce
pollution
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 in
modern
Add an article
the modern
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 day. In conclusion, maintaining a balance between
government
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 investment and individual actions is ideal for a sustainable future. Public
transport
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 must be reliable, efficient, and well-connected to be a viable choice for most people. Governments should incentivize the use of greener personal
transport
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 options alongside improving public
transport
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.

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task achievement
Clarify your introduction: While you've stated your opinion, it could be clearer that you recognize the need for both public investment and individual responsibility in your thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence by ensuring that each paragraph presents a clear main point that directly relates to the overall argument. Connect ideas more smoothly to guide the reader through your reasoning more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details, especially related to the individual's role in transportation. Adding an example about successful public transportation systems could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument and clearly states a personal opinion, demonstrating an understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
There are logical points made regarding the benefits of public transportation and the role of individual responsibility, reflecting good awareness of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic congestion
  • Air pollution
  • Sustainable
  • Infrastructure
  • Carpooling
  • Emission reduction
  • Public transit
  • Economic growth
  • Ride-sharing
  • Efficiency
  • Accessibility
  • Lower-income residents
  • Shift from private vehicles
  • Job creation
  • Technological advancements
  • Incentivize
  • Feasible
  • Reliable
  • Viable
  • Alleviate
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