“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, it is contended that the majority of a nation's health expenditure should be allocated to fitness education and initiatives to prevent illness
instead
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of treatment. I strongly agree with
this
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argument because its financial consequence affects people's awareness to stay fit and attempts to prevent illnesses can improve life expectancy.
This
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essay will elaborate on those reasons. First and foremost, a significant cut in
government
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coverage can raise consciousness among citizens in maintaining their physical well-being.
This
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is because they
consequently
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have to pay for their doctor visits and medicines with their own paychecks
instead
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of being covered by the
government
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. In the United States of America,
for example
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, where no solid health insurance is provided by the
government
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, folks will be more likely to protect themselves from common illnesses during the rainy season, like cough and flu, to avoid spending money on medical actions.
Therefore
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, declining the medical consultation budget is paramount to building a healthier society.
On the other hand
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, spreading fitness knowledge and preventive programs is prominent in resolving high mortality levels, particularly in times of crisis. Both the
government
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and its citizens must have a good understanding of the importance of avoiding infections. Countries with better information on a virus outbreak
such
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as COVID-19,
for
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instance
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instance,
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Singapore with their strategic prevention programs, tend to establish better strategies to prevent the virus by pressing the death tolls and minimising casualties.
Thus
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, prevention plays a pivotal role in saving many lives compared to merely focusing on treatments.
To conclude
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, there can be no doubt that the lion's share of a country’s budget should be diverted from treatment to health education and preventive programs. I staunchly endorse
this
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view
due to
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its effectiveness of direct consequence towards people impacts their perception to stay healthy
as well as
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prominent illness prevention which has been proven to improve life expectancy.
Submitted by dandelionandburdock on

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear position throughout, it would benefit from a stronger and more varied range of supporting ideas and examples. Try to incorporate real-world statistics or studies that further substantiate your claims. Use more precise vocabulary and avoid repetition to increase the range of language used.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows some logical structuring with clear paragraphs, but there could be better usage of cohesive devices to create a smoother flow of ideas. Aim to vary your sentence structures and make use of synonyms to avoid repetition. Furthermore, transitions between paragraphs need to be more seamless to enhance readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventative measures
  • health education
  • chronic diseases
  • infectious disease outbreaks
  • cost-effective
  • advanced illnesses
  • healthcare facilities
  • healthcare professionals
  • allocation of resources
  • quality of life
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • early detection
  • socioeconomic benefits
  • absenteeism
  • ethical obligation
  • public health outcomes
  • health budget
  • diverted
  • healthcare burden
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