“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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Nowadays, it is contended that the majority of a nation's health expenditure should be allocated to fitness education and initiatives to prevent illness
instead
of treatment. I strongly agree with Linking Words
this
argument because its financial consequence affects people's awareness to stay fit and attempts to prevent illnesses can improve life expectancy. Linking Words
This
essay will elaborate on those reasons.
First and foremost, a significant cut in Linking Words
government
coverage can raise consciousness among citizens in maintaining their physical well-being. Use synonyms
This
is because they Linking Words
consequently
have to pay for their doctor visits and medicines with their own paychecks Linking Words
instead
of being covered by the Linking Words
government
. In the United States of America, Use synonyms
for example
, where no solid health insurance is provided by the Linking Words
government
, folks will be more likely to protect themselves from common illnesses during the rainy season, like cough and flu, to avoid spending money on medical actions. Use synonyms
Therefore
, declining the medical consultation budget is paramount to building a healthier society.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, spreading fitness knowledge and preventive programs is prominent in resolving high mortality levels, particularly in times of crisis. Both the Linking Words
government
and its citizens must have a good understanding of the importance of avoiding infections. Countries with better information on a virus outbreak Use synonyms
such
as COVID-19, Linking Words
for
Linking Words
instance
Singapore with their strategic prevention programs, tend to establish better strategies to prevent the virus by pressing the death tolls and minimising casualties. Add the comma(s)
instance,
Thus
, prevention plays a pivotal role in saving many lives compared to merely focusing on treatments.
Linking Words
To conclude
, there can be no doubt that the lion's share of a country’s budget should be diverted from treatment to health education and preventive programs. I staunchly endorse Linking Words
this
view Linking Words
due to
its effectiveness of direct consequence towards people impacts their perception to stay healthy Linking Words
as well as
prominent illness prevention which has been proven to improve life expectancy.Linking Words
Submitted by dandelionandburdock on
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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear position throughout, it would benefit from a stronger and more varied range of supporting ideas and examples. Try to incorporate real-world statistics or studies that further substantiate your claims. Use more precise vocabulary and avoid repetition to increase the range of language used.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows some logical structuring with clear paragraphs, but there could be better usage of cohesive devices to create a smoother flow of ideas. Aim to vary your sentence structures and make use of synonyms to avoid repetition. Furthermore, transitions between paragraphs need to be more seamless to enhance readability.