Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the filed, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #sportsmen #sportswomen #misbehave

There is a contentious argument over whether

athletes

can misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are practising their

sports

well or not. I totally disagree with the statement

due to

the fact that these

athletes

should reflect the

sports

team that they are representing. In

this

essay, I am going to discuss the reasons why I disagree with

this

statement.

Firstly

, professional

athletes

should have some kind of respect for their fans and rivals, because fans, especially, young ones take their favourite

athletes

as their role models, and

this

has some kind of disrespect to their

rival

Fix the agreement mistake

rivals

show examples

. Another reason for believing

this

is that

such

athletes

make the

sports

union of the country look weak. To illustrate, in 2004 Steven Gerrard did not shake hands with rival players, which led to a wave of anger in the streets of Liverpool. Most people want him to get fined for being disrespectful to the

rivals'

Fix the agreement mistake

rival'

show examples

team.

Secondly

athletes

who act wrongly outside or inside the pitch might affect the behaviour of the young kids who take these sportsmen as role models, which will affect the behaviour of these kids when practising the same sport.

For example

, in England, one of the football players from the second division league made a bad hand gesture, which led to most young fans making the same gesture. In conclusion, I completely disagree that

athletes

can misbehave outside or inside the pitch

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

this

might lead to hateful rivalry

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and wrong actions of young people who take these

athletes

as role models. Given

this

situation, it seems that

this

phenomenon has spread widely and higher

sports

union

Fix the agreement mistake

unions

show examples

should take action to stop these actions.

Submitted by osama2010b on Sun Nov 19 2023

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introduction conclusion

Ensure that there is a clear introductory paragraph setting out the structure of what will be discussed, as well as a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your argument, without introducing any entirely new ideas at this stage. Both introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more comprehensive in establishing context and summarizing main arguments.

logical structure

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supported main points

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complete response

Respond fully to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Ensure that the essay remains on topic throughout, providing a balanced argument where required and a clear personal stance in the conclusion.

clear comprehensive ideas

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relevant specific examples

Include more specific and varied examples that directly support your argument. Try to demonstrate broader thinking by engaging with counter-arguments or acknowledging different perspectives before reinforcing your own position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the filed, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decereasing. Do you think that this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, young people spend much of their time watching TV and playing video games. Some people think these activities are bad for a young person's mental and physical health. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is best for people to be honest at all times. Others, however, believe that it is occasionally necessary to lie. Discuss both views and give your opinion.