Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the filed, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a contentious argument over whether
athletes
can misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are practising their
sports
well or not. I totally disagree with the statement
due to
the fact that these
athletes
should reflect the
sports
team that they are representing. In
this
essay, I am going to discuss the reasons why I disagree with
this
statement.
Firstly
, professional
athletes
should have some kind of respect for their fans and rivals, because fans, especially, young ones take their favourite
athletes
as their role models, and
this
has some kind of disrespect to their
rival
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rivals
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. Another reason for believing
this
is that
such
athletes
make the
sports
union of the country look weak. To illustrate, in 2004 Steven Gerrard did not shake hands with rival players, which led to a wave of anger in the streets of Liverpool. Most people want him to get fined for being disrespectful to the
rivals'
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rival'
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team.
Secondly
,
athletes
who act wrongly outside or inside the pitch might affect the behaviour of the young kids who take these sportsmen as role models, which will affect the behaviour of these kids when practising the same sport.
For example
, in England, one of the football players from the second division league made a bad hand gesture, which led to most young fans making the same gesture. In conclusion, I completely disagree that
athletes
can misbehave outside or inside the pitch
,
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apply
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because
this
might lead to hateful rivalry
,
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apply
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and wrong actions of young people who take these
athletes
as role models. Given
this
situation, it seems that
this
phenomenon has spread widely and higher
sports
union
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unions
show examples
should take action to stop these actions.
Submitted by osama2010b on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure that there is a clear introductory paragraph setting out the structure of what will be discussed, as well as a conclusion that succinctly summarizes your argument, without introducing any entirely new ideas at this stage. Both introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more comprehensive in establishing context and summarizing main arguments.
logical structure
To improve coherence, make sure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one and leads into the next. Ideas should be clearly organized and paragraphs should have clear topic sentences.
supported main points
When making points, support them with more detailed and varied examples. Avoid overly simplistic or repeated examples, drawing from a wider range of sources if possible.
complete response
Respond fully to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Ensure that the essay remains on topic throughout, providing a balanced argument where required and a clear personal stance in the conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are relevant but could be developed further for clarity and depth. Strive to elaborate more on each point you make, ensuring that they contribute to answering the essay question directly and completely.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific and varied examples that directly support your argument. Try to demonstrate broader thinking by engaging with counter-arguments or acknowledging different perspectives before reinforcing your own position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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