Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In today's contemporary epoch, the pace of modernity is accelerating exponentially, propelling individuals worldwide to engage in a perpetually competitive lifestyle, whereby acquiring an auspicious job with significant compensation is paramount.
Consequently
, a dialectical schism ensues regarding the pedagogical approach to be imparted upon children, as some advocate for competition
, whereas
others espouse cooperation, both essential for cultivating a successful future.
On the one hand, when fostered healthily, competition
can be a potent catalyst for propelling youngsters towards academic excellence. Through engagement in a competitive environment, toddler acquires an enhanced sense of self-awareness and an innate drive to outdo their peers, striving to surpass their potential. The triumph they feel when commended by their teachers and peers further
reinforces this
behaviour, creating a virtuous cycle of increased effort and accomplishment.
On the other hand
, partnership remains indispensable in facilitating the development of essential interpersonal skills in adolescents, which are crucial for academic and professional success. Teaching teenager the value of teamwork, respect for other's opinions, and communication enables them to collaborate more effectively with their peers, minimise misunderstandings, and promotes amity. Consequently
, youth imbued with these skills are better prepared to engage with diverse individuals and tackle complex tasks and responsibilities.
In conclusion, the optimal pedagogical approach reconciles the dichotomy between competition
and assistance, thereby fostering the holistic advancement of offspring. While
rivalry serves as an effective catalyst to engender enhanced effort and achievement, cooperation is indispensable in facilitating juvenile's
progress of essential interpersonal skills, which are essential for success in the future. Correct article usage
a juvenile's
Thus
, embracing a balanced and equitable approach, which inculcates competition
and collaboration, is imperative to ensure that kids emerge as knowledgeable, productive, and valuable members of society. Ultimately, the growth and prosperity of any nation depend on its infant's education and improvement.Submitted by ashissarker18 on
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Task Achievement
For the criterion of task response, while your essay presents an opinion on the topic, it's essential to ensure that ideas are developed fully. Your discussion does not provide ample examples and depth to each viewpoint. Include more specific examples and clearer arguments to support each side of the issue to achieve a higher band score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Regarding coherence and cohesion, your essay has a recognisable structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother and more coherent. Furthermore, some sentences are overly complex and convoluted, which detracts from the overall clarity. Simplifying your language and ensuring logical flow between points will improve your score in this area.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.