Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
It can be observed around the world that well-known figures including models and singers are making greater
income
than those in legislative service in their country. This
disparity can be explained by their distinctive sources of income
, and in my opinion
it is a completely negative development.
Add a comma
opinion,
To begin
with, famous people usually make more money thanks to their more diverse income
sources. To illustrate, a famed supermodel can make millions of dollars a year by not only participating in fashion shows but also
endorsing brands on various social platforms. By contrast
, the only income
for most lawmakers is the monthly salary from the tight state budget. In fact, politicians
are generally banned from cultivating commercial connections with corporations to avoid the abuse of power. This
is a testament as
to why they have considerably lower Change preposition
apply
income
compared to celebrities.
In my estimation, the difference in Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
income
between celebrities and politicians
is discouraging. The first reason is that it represents inequity as governmental officials are those who make more significant social changes. A law enhancing social welfare which affects the lives of millions is certainly more impactful than a song that is
made popular by the media. In addition
, lower pay for politicians
might discourage talented people from applying for governmental organisations, causing a shortage of effective lawmakers. If this
shortage prolongs
, it can reduce the effectiveness of the state system and the Wrong verb form
is prolonged
overall
development of a country.
In conclusion, the fact that celebrities are using multiple channels to increase their wealth while
politicians
heavily rely on their state-sponsored salary is causing an enormous pay gap between them. However
, I consider this
trend to be totally unjustifiable as it fails to fairly compensate for the contribution of officials and demotivates productive individuals to join the government. That is
why I believe governments should impose a higher income
tax on the earnings of famous stars and increase compensation for those who are leading their nation.Submitted by weezel on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a limited range of cohesive devices, and while the paragraphing is adequate, the progression between ideas can be somewhat mechanical. Try to vary the connectives and ensure the flow of the essay feels natural.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and fulfill their functions in the essay, they could be more impactfully articulated to showcase a stronger command of language and a more persuasive argument.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your essay are relevant but need to be developed further with examples and data to strengthen your arguments. Ensure that each main point is not only stated but explored in depth with specific instances to validate your opinion.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and presented ideas that are generally relevant to the prompt; however, analyzing the task more comprehensively would involve a clearer articulation of the nuances of the underlying issues rather than merely stating the disparity in income.
task achievement
The ideas expressed in the essay are understandable and sufficiently address the questions posed by the task, but they could be expressed with greater depth and complexity to fully satisfy the task's requirements.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific examples to support assertions. To improve, incorporate real-world evidence, research, or studies to substantiate your claims. This will make your arguments more convincing and contribute to your credibility as a writer.