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Writing Samples
Band 8

The bar chart shows the number of male and female people arrested by type of offense (crime). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features. and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of male and female people arrested by type of offense (crime). Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features. and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #people #type #offense #crime #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the number of male and female culprits sorted by their crimes between 2008 and 2009. In general, it is clearly seen that people tended to act violently against the person, theft and handling stolen goods
while
Linking Words
 experiencing low crime rates in robbery fraud and forgery.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the percentage of violence against the person by males and females accounted for approximately 31 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and 34 per
cent
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, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rate of females eclipsed males in arrests by theft and handling stolen goods with having 14 per
cent
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 difference (32 per
cent
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 and 20 per
cent
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) in rate. With regards to the proportion of people who were arrested
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 robbery, burglary, drug offences fraud and forgery hit bottom rock, accounting for about 3 per
cent
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, 5 per
cent
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 and 8 per
cent
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, 3 per
cent
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 for all genders with the respective. Regarding the rate of criminal damage and other offences, the percentage of people who were arrested by criminal damage and other offences comprised ten one of the total number and 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
, respectively
while
Linking Words
 having only a 2 per
cent
Use synonyms
 discrepancy between gender groups for each arrest type.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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