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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Particular jobs,
such
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 as
doctors
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 and engineers are believed to make a contribution to the
country
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 where they did the training.
However
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, some argue they have a
chance
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 to
work
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 in other countries if they wish.
Although
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 working in the
country
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 where they did training could be more relevant to what they have learned and might be more applicable, yet, take a
chance
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 to learn in another
country
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 will open new opportunities to innovate specific systems depending on the subject. In my view, I agree that professionals should have the right to
work
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 in another
country
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. One of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why some believe that
doctors
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 and engineers should
work
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 in the
country
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 they did training come down to the relevancy between the issues they got
while
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 training. The more relevant issues to overcome, the more applicable the skill they have trained.
For example
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, an engineer on a construction site will encounter particular conditions,
such
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 as the design of the street in some countries might be different from the
country
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 they originally trained. In that case, it requires more comprehension of global issues.
However
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, working in another
country
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 will widen the
chance
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 to learn more and enhance hard skills regarding global knowledge. Practitioners can try to implement what they have learned from working in another
country
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 in the
country
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 they originally trained.
Furthermore
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, it will create some innovations for a better future.
For instance
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,
doctors
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 who face an incredibly threatening virus and they cannot do more research
due to
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 limited facilities, here have the
chance
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 to
work
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 in another
country
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 where can help to find the best cure for the virus. Working abroad is not only broadening horizons but
also
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 gaining new skills for professionals.
To conclude
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, some individuals believe that professionals should
work
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 in the original
country
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 they did training because of the relevance to its
country
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.
However
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, some argue that they should be free to
work
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 in another
country
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 since it has a bunch of benefits,
such
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 as gaining knowledge and enhancing skills. I strongly agree that
doctors
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 and engineers have the right to choose to
work
Use synonyms
 in another
country
Use synonyms
 looking at how it would be very beneficial for society as well.

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Introduction/Conclusion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. Aim to have both an introductory and concluding paragraph that encapsulate your argument effectively.
Logical Structure
Present clear, logical progressions of ideas throughout the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon with explanations and examples.
Supporting Examples
Support main points with specific examples. The examples given are somewhat generic and could be more detailed to enhance the argument.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task prompt. Aim to discuss both views presented in the question and your own opinion throughout, not just in the conclusion.
Development of Ideas
Develop clear, comprehensive ideas in each paragraph. Avoid general statements and focus more on concrete ideas and arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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