(2024)You are a college student in an English speaking country. You share a rented apartment with others but want to move to the college accommodation instead. Write a letter to the teacher in charge of the hostel and explain your intention to move to college accommodation. In your letter: introduce yourself give reasons why you are not happy with the current accommodation explain why you think college accommodation will be better for you

#college #student #english #country #apartment #move #accommodation #teacher #charge #hostel #intention

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing

this

letter to request accommodation in the college's hostel. Currently, I am enrolled in the project Management Diploma for two years and my student ID is 8943190.

Also

, I am eligible for the school apartments to stay for the next two semesters. For the moment I am staying at

the

Correct article usage

show examples

private rental house and I have certain issues with that. Primarily, the distance of my school from home is very far it takes approximately 2 hours to reach which means daily I have to travel 4 hours, which is a major waste of my time.

Moreover

, my housemates are all working and they have to go to work sometimes early and late at night.

Due to

this

, It disturbs my sleep cycle and I am not able to fully concentrate on my studies. In my perspective, the college's hostel is the best option for me because it not only saves my travel time but

also

gives me a pedagogical environment.

Furthermore

, I will be motivated to accomplish my educational goals and achieve good grades. I hope you understand my concern and reply soon. Yours Faithfully, Navdeep Kaur

Submitted by knavdeep3011 on Mon Oct 07 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Try to ensure each paragraph contains a single idea to improve clarity. Organizing your ideas in separate paragraphs can enhance coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Include a brief closing remark to strengthen the conclusion of your letter, ensuring a more satisfactory ending.

Task Achievement

The letter introduces the writer and mentions the current course and student ID, ensuring clarity and context.

Task Achievement

The reasons for wanting to move are clearly stated, providing a complete and logical explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion

The greeting and closing are suitable and polite, which is appropriate for this context.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

192 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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