Some people think living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree
Some
people
argue that living in big towns negatively affects Use synonyms
people
's Use synonyms
health
. I completely disagree with Use synonyms
this
point of view because big Linking Words
cities
provide their Use synonyms
society
a better Use synonyms
health
amenities and working in big Use synonyms
cities
ensures a competitive salary, its workers will be likely to afford in healthy Use synonyms
lifestyle
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, Enormous Linking Words
cities
serve their inhabitants a variety of public facilities, including top medical hospitals. Because of Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
society
grant a range of option to cure critical medical disease, which is not available in rural areas. Use synonyms
For instance
, heart cancer is only possible to be cured at modern hospitals in Linking Words
central
city, which the hospital equips with high-end technologies and availability of brilliant talents in the medical field. Add an article
the central
As a result
, Linking Words
people
from urban Use synonyms
cities
with heart cancer need to travel to the big Use synonyms
cities
to get medical treatments. Use synonyms
Otherwise
, they might get worse by the ill. Linking Words
Therefore
, the Linking Words
society
, who are living in big Use synonyms
cities
, where sophisticated medical amenities are available will positively impact their Use synonyms
health
sector.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, employees who are living in big Linking Words
cities
generally have a bigger income rather than those who are living in urban areas. It means they have a significant money power to afford a living Use synonyms
lifestyle
that ensures their fitness. Use synonyms
For example
, the trend of working out in the gym or sports centre is gradually increasing. Linking Words
Although
it requires high fees in membership Linking Words
subscription
, which obviously they could afford, the trend shows more and more Fix the agreement mistake
subscriptions
people
are coming to the gym. Resulting in the cultivation of Use synonyms
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
society
, in which urban Use synonyms
people
normally label gyms as an expensive commodity. Use synonyms
Thus
, living and working in big Linking Words
cities
promise a better living Use synonyms
lifestyle
Use synonyms
rather
than living in small Rephrase
apply
cities
.
In conclusion, I agree with the notion big Use synonyms
cities
produce a better Use synonyms
health
record for their inhabitant because of the availability of a broad range of Use synonyms
health
amenities and the affordability, Use synonyms
due to
high-wage, to live a healthy Linking Words
lifestyle
.Use synonyms
Submitted by elroivan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Overall structuring of the essay is adequate, with both an introduction and a conclusion in place. However, transition between paragraphs could be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one for improved flow
Task Achievement
There is a clear stance throughout the essay, but some points are not fully developed. Expand your ideas further and ensure that all arguments directly contribute to the prompt. Task achievement would improve with a more thorough exploration of the opposing viewpoint as well