Some believe that violent computer games are just a form of entertainment, while others think they lead directly to violent behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that various forms of entertainment could be anything, particularly violent computer
games
, but there are those who think that has an impact on people's behaviour.
This
essay will discuss both aspects mentioned in the following paragraphs. There are many reasons why playing video
games
leads to relaxing activities. Undoubtedly, these days many offspring spend their leisure time on computers.
This
is leading to persuasive strategic
games
such
as shooting guns, fighting, and others.
Furthermore
,
this
can be explained by the fact that the benefits of playing
games
enable players to interact with others via online platforms. Obviously, they will learn how to get a team
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
group
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
and critical thinking when they have to survive the battle match, which means planning can be beneficial.
Hence
, having developed technological skills through playing
games
, a gamer will probably continue their future jobs as effectively as they can.
On the other hand
,
this
violent behaviour could be caused by gaming for several reasons. A serious drawback to consider is children's health, which adversely affects their social associations.
As a result
, they might become addicted to the world's
games
subconsciously, which means they would lack the custody of their parents.
Moreover
, not only do various forms of
games
contain bad and good content, but
also
unsuitable behaviours of social internet users may affect children's perceptions.
Thus
,
this
action leads the players to adapt to their daily routines, and these illustrated movements in the video game could be followed in practical ways. In conclusion, Even though playing video
games
can be beneficial, it
also
has some drawbacks. Personally, I believe that people who like to play
games
should consider as well and separate the two sides from the outcomes carefully. As a suggestion, if some parents have a kid, they should take care of the children and give them knowledge before letting the kids play
games
alone. give ielts band writing task 2
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task achievement
To enhance your score in the task response category, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task directly. Your introduction and conclusion give a good overview and personal view, but the body paragraphs need to focus more explicitly on how violent computer games could directly influence behavior. Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on smoothly linking your ideas from one paragraph to the next. Using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences can help clarify the connection between your ideas. Additionally, each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph will be about.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structuring and support your main points more effectively, consider adding more detailed examples and real-life scenarios that clearly demonstrate the impact of violent video games on behavior. Also, providing counterarguments and refuting them can add depth to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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