IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The maps shows a natural history museum changesbetween 2010 and 2013.

The maps shows a natural history museum changesbetween 2010 and 2013.
#maps #history #museum #changesbetween
The figures
illustarate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 how a natural history museum has transformed from 2010 to 2013.
Overall
, the Natural
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 has expanded significantly and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen a few similarities but numerous changes in
this
 area.
To begin
 with, the location of Ocean
hall
Capitalize word
Hall
show examples
 did not change.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 where
Ice
Correct article usage
the Ice
show examples
 Age exhibition
standed
Correct your spelling
stood
show examples
 in 2013, there used to be Mammals in 2010. As for green space, all trees were chopped down to make way for new facilities. With regard to recreational facilities, a new cafe was constructed in the southeast of the area and a new shop was built to the west of the cafe.
In addition
, To the north of
Correct article usage
the cafe
show examples
cafe
Add a comma
cafe,
show examples
 the Human
origins
Capitalize word
Origins
show examples
 display was constructed. It is worth noting that mammals were removed and the cage was rebuilt to reduce its size.
Finally
, the ticket desk that was situated in the west of
lobby
Correct article usage
the lobby
show examples
 was not changed, neither the size nor the location.
Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: