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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The maps shows a natural history museum changesbetween 2010 and 2013.

The maps shows a natural history museum changesbetween 2010 and 2013.
#maps #history #museum #changesbetween
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The figures
illustarate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 how a natural history museum has transformed from 2010 to 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the Natural
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
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 has expanded significantly and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can be seen a few similarities but numerous changes in
this
Linking Words
 area.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the location of Ocean
hall
Capitalize word
Hall
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 did not change.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 where
Ice
Correct article usage
the Ice
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 Age exhibition
standed
Correct your spelling
stood
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 in 2013, there used to be Mammals in 2010. As for green space, all trees were chopped down to make way for new facilities. With regard to recreational facilities, a new cafe was constructed in the southeast of the area and a new shop was built to the west of the cafe.
In addition
Linking Words
, To the north of
Correct article usage
the cafe
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cafe
Add a comma
cafe,
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 the Human
origins
Capitalize word
Origins
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 display was constructed. It is worth noting that mammals were removed and the cage was rebuilt to reduce its size.
Finally
Linking Words
, the ticket desk that was situated in the west of
lobby
Correct article usage
the lobby
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 was not changed, neither the size nor the location.
Submitted by m.r.zamani1376678 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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