Some argue that all young children should be required to stay with full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. Do you agree or disagree?

Given the mounting importance of
to an individual’s comprehensive development it has garnered widespread interest. One common perspective that many people, including myself, advocate is that a full-time curriculum should be made compulsory for adolescents.
should not spend their entire time
Change preposition
show examples
class until adulthood for several reasons.
, full-time
will limit
to a high extent. The reason might be the fact that if their life is devoted to learning at school, there is obviously no time to improve other important and crucial
like communication
, social
or find talents they may have like singing or painting,...It has to be noted that these
are as important as
, and being restricted to academic subjects can make
not thrive in other aspects.
, making somebody learn what they are not interested in may cause negative results
of our expectations.
For example
, if they are not interested in academic study and are forced to learn
complicated subjects, they can be frustrated and get bored, and
all efforts have been in vain.
, there are more reasonable grounds that full-time learning plays a pivotal role in the student's development in the future. One significant fact is that most adolescents are reared and supported by their parents during their formative years, and
lack a comprehensive understanding of their decisions. That being the case, giving
the leeway to choose whether or not to attend class can result in misgivings later in life.
, being educated is the key factor that prepares children for the future
due to
the benefits that
brings to them.
For instance
, occupations relating to Information technology, artificial intelligence, and computer science, which take time to study at school to excel at them, always offer applicants higher salaries and more job opportunities. In conclusion, for the aforementioned reasons, I wholeheartedly endorse the notion that young
under the age of 18 should be obliged to finish their
despite that intensive concentrating on study until 18 can bring some undesirable impacts but the significant contributions that school makes to children’s
development are far weightier.
Submitted by nttung.182 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays focused on that idea without digression. Though your essay presents relevant ideas, there could be more explicit topic sentences to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to organize your ideas more clearly. The essay presents a logical order of ideas, but transitions between them can be smoother.
task achievement
Develop your main points with more specific examples and explanations. You have made relevant points but providing more detailed illustrations will enhance the clarity and impact of your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your position is consistently clear throughout the essay. You have expressed a viewpoint, but greater clarity in the introduction and conclusion will strengthen your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion: you agree or disagree? you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: