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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Governments and big companies should work together to reverse environmental damage, rather than making individuals responsible for that. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#governments #companies #work #damage #individuals
The
environment
 plays an important role in country-building, rather than making a person responsible for environmental harm
companies
 and governments should solve environmental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
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 the country and individuals, I agree that governments and huge
companies
Add a verb
companies are
companies were
show examples
 responsible for making a difference
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the environmental damage.
Overall
, if making the person charge for the environmental damage
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will not solve the main harm to the
environment
 and the individuals do not have the majority solving impact to the environmental damages, the
government
 should instruct the big
companies
 to produce the
producte
Correct your spelling
product
products
 as safe and useful for the
environment
,
in addition
 , big
companies
 have to restrict and minimizing of producing harm environmental product
such
 plastic.
While
 the
government
 and huge
companies
 are assigned together to observe and maintain the
environment
 in
stable
Add an article
the stable
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 condition they will make an important impact on the
environment
, the
government
 will make roles to the huge
companies
 for
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 industry ,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
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 governments have to set many orders to get throw of the industry waste on correct methods that will not have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
negatively
Change the adverb
negative
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 effect on the
environment
 . Collaborating between
government
 and industries to follow the roles regarding the environmental issue will provide
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
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 and view vision for
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 maintain to
safe
Add an article
a safe
show examples
 and healthy
environment
 for the
Correct your spelling
human
huma
Correct your spelling
human
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
 in the country ,
Submitted by shuruk88k on

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Introduction and Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are integral to structuring the argument effectively. Ensure your essay has a strong opening statement that presents the topic and a final paragraph that summarizes the main points and your stance.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of the essay is inadequate, causing difficulty in following the progression of ideas. Aim to have a clear progression of thought by organizing your essay into well-defined paragraphs, each with a focused topic sentence.
Development of Ideas
The essay requires further development of key points with relevant, specific examples and explanations to clearly present your argument. Incorporate concrete examples to support your main points and avoid general claims without evidence.
Task Achievement
Your essay has not fully met the task requirements due to incomplete arguments and a lack of clarity. Strive to clearly present your opinion and engage directly with all parts of the prompt to ensure a well-considered response to the question.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are noticeable issues with grammar and sentence structure, which hinder the clarity of communication. Focus on writing complete sentences and checking for grammatical accuracy to improve the effectiveness of your message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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