IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
"Nothing is impossible" is one of the famous sayings that most people could refer to in any hard situation.
This
Linking Words
 is not totally wrong because , in some places, people have already been told the same thing since they were young by their parents. It does sound like good words of encouragement,
however
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 has some downsides to
children
Use synonyms
's
way
Use synonyms
 of thinking and behaviour. Telling
children
Use synonyms
 that they can be anything they want and get everything they desire as long as they work hard to achieve it is actually a good
way
Use synonyms
 to give positive energy to them. By encouraging them to keep trying, they will not break down easily.
This
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 of persuading will
also
Linking Words
 give them other good manners as they grow up,
such
Linking Words
 as a competitiveness and boost in their confidence.
In addition
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 believe that
children
Use synonyms
 who are taught
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 for a considerable amount will be able to get the silver lining for each trial and avoid making the same mistakes in the future. In simple words,
this
Linking Words
 encouraging act will
also
Linking Words
 help them to practice critical thinking. But of course, every good thing
also
Linking Words
 comes with its own downsides.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to all of the advantages, telling ones that everything is possible to get will
also
Linking Words
 bring some unpreferred impacts, especially to their characters. In some cases, they might have too much trust in themselves which makes them over-confident.
This
Linking Words
 type of child tends to do anything to achieve their goals, which includes ignoring others and leaving out feelings. The thought of having the ability to achieve anything might increase their confidence, yet it might
also
Linking Words
 decrease their empathy towards their peers or families.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is a good thing to encourage
children
Use synonyms
 to work hard and keep trying until they achieve their dreams.
However
Linking Words
, it is very important to apply it in just a considerable manner, so they will not feel as if they are being forced to meet their goals.
Thus
Linking Words
, parents
also
Linking Words
 need to carefully think about the disadvantages that
this
Linking Words
 thought would bring to their
children
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. There should be clear connections and seamless transitions between paragraphs and ideas to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a well-developed introduction and conclusion that clearly addresses the task, bringing the essay full circle and leaving the reader with a sense of closure and understanding of your perspective on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with a sufficient range of development, providing detailed explanations, elaborations, and relevant examples where applicable to strengthen your argument and give your essay more depth.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task with a complete response, ensuring that your essay fully covers the prompt and does not leave out any significant aspect of the topic.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and comprehensively, using an appropriate range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey complex concepts effectively without causing confusion to the reader.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to back up your points. These examples should be carefully chosen to illustrate and reinforce your arguments concretely and persuasively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: