The government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
During
this
period, people
living in rural and urban areas need
public Wrong verb form
needed
transportation
to fulfil society's needs. Many people
claim that the government must pay more attention to public transit, while
others reject this
nation. In my opinion, I strongly agree that the government must invest in railways that can positively impact the environment and reduce congestion. I will discuss this
in a further
paragraph with a suitable conclusion.
Supporting my agreement with the given statement, I firmly believe that the governments have allocated funding in some structures to our country, especially for public transportation
. For instance
, if we have good transportation
like subway, tram, and railways with good facilities and always departure on time. Of course, the problem of lousy air pollution is no longer in our country because people
will choose something that makes them comfortable. That will be one solution to keep our environment healthy.
You explained some of the other supporting points about the importance of a railway to reduce congestion. In this
era, people
will choose to have their own vehicle rather than using public transportation
. Consequently
, we will face heavy traffic, especially during rush hour, and be late for school or work. However
, I do not find this
argument convincing because having your car means you will increase traffic, mainly if you use an autonomous vehicle that needs a gas guzzler. That is
leading to environmental problems such
as the extinction of endangered species.
In conclusion, I agree with dedicating resources to invest in railways, the above points to having a healthy environment and reducing traffic jams to support my viewpoint. I suggest people
must be aware of our environmental problems we must reduce our selfishness and give big support to the government to raise our public transportation
to be a good quality in our country.Submitted by waauliya011 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay shows a basic level of logical structure, but it can be greatly improved by organizing ideas more systematically and using clearer paragraphing. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and elaborates on it sufficiently before moving on to the next point.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more explicitly linked to the thesis and main body of the essay. Clarify your position in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion, summarizing the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
While main points are supported, they require further development and more detailed explanations. Consider expanding on your ideas by providing more in-depth reasoning and a wider range of supporting evidence.
task achievement
To fully respond to the task, ensure that you provide a complete argument that addresses all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Your essay should demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic by covering all aspects of the argument, including potential counterarguments.
task achievement
Your ideas are somewhat clear but lack comprehensiveness. Strive to fully develop your arguments to convey a more nuanced understanding of the topic. Include more specific details to reinforce your stance and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is essential to demonstrate an understanding of the topic. Ensure that the examples provided are directly linked to your argument and serve to reinforce the points you are making.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.