In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an egeing population outweigh the disadavantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society #disadavantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that healthcare advancement and better living conditions have led to higher average longevity.

While

Linking Words

an ageing population has some drawbacks, I believe the advantages it brings to society are huge. On the one hand, the increasing number of old people is problematic for a nation.

First,

Linking Words

it creates a shortage of young labour force as more and more senior citizens still work after retirement, and

this

Linking Words

therefore

Linking Words

, leads to a less innovative, creative and dynamic economy.

Second,

Linking Words

retirees require a large sum of money for their pensions and subsidies , and

this

Linking Words

obviously is a burden for governments and taxpayers.

Finally

Linking Words

, old people are prone to illnesses and ailments and

thus

Linking Words

need more healthcare services which cost a country a fortune.

For example

Linking Words

, national resources have to be extracted for constructing and operating more elderly homes to cater to senior citizens

On the other hand

Linking Words

, an ageing population is advantageous to both family and society.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon can

deeper

Replace the word

deepen

show examples

family bonds, as old members can provide the family with support and care, and can

also

Linking Words

act as a mental beacon for the young generation.

For example

Linking Words

, in many countries, grandparents help look after grandchildren and do household chores so that young adults are stress-free to make ends meet.

In addition

Linking Words

, old people have a stronger emphasis on experience and can be a great source of mentorship. It is common that more and more citizens who want to pay back to society are willing to work as volunteers in many communities and groups to

guild

Correct your spelling

guide

show examples

the younger generation, and their goodwill, enthusiasm and knowledge can uplift the morale and spirit of young adults. In conclusion, my view is that the rewards of an ageing population do outweigh the problems it causes.

Submitted by ashissarker18 on Sun Nov 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear logical progression by further improving the connection between ideas and paragraphs. While the structure is generally logical, transitions could be smoother, and a few ideas need better elaboration to improve coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present; however, make efforts to strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the points and your stance more clearly. This will reinforce your position and lend more persuasiveness to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Make sure main points are clearly supported with relevant examples. While there are some examples provided, they are not always specifically tied to the argument. Use more detailed and relevant examples to strengthen your main points.

task achievement

A complete response to the IELTS task should address all parts of the question. Ensure you equally consider both advantages and disadvantages to provide a balanced view before stating your conclusion.

task achievement

Strive to present clear and comprehensive ideas; at times, some ideas were only superficially treated. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea with thorough support.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to support each point. At present, while examples are provided, they could be more detailed and directly related to the argument. Specific real-world instances can help in illustrating your point more convincingly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
People are becoming increasingly interested in discovering the history of the houses or buildings they live in. I think the reasons for this phenomenon are because of internet usage and a growing trend in city architectural history. Moreover, people can research the history of their houses by reading literature and using spatial database websites.
7
band
Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, using hands to do all housework in the home is replaced by advanced technology. I believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks.
6
band
You have recently discovered that a product you particularly like, and often purchase, will no longer be produced. You have decided to write a letter to the company to object to the discontinuation of this item: •what the product is and why you like it so much •how its removal from production will affect you •what you would like the company to do as an alternative
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter in context to decesion of discontinuation of manufacturing of the Confident Hydrolic Dental Chairs ZX 1 by the company. I am a dentist by profession. I have been using this product for the last ten years, because of the cost of operating is very reasonable. Moreover, it is power efficient too, because it uses hydrolic lift, which is operated by foot.
4.5
band
Do we have to plan for future or stay focused on our present what is your opinion and why ? provide example to support your stand.
A common question is, what is more important for humans improving present days or focusing on plan the future and postpone happiness to an older age. I believe that people should not focus on one period of time, balancing is essential to get a better life in all ages of life.
8
band
You are organising a local committee meeting. You would like a local MP to attend the meeting to contribute to a discussion about green areas in the community. Write a letter of invitation to the MP's secretary, Mrs Shelton. In your letter •introduce your committee •say why you are having the meeting •invite the MP to attend Write about 150 words. You do not need to write addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear…
I have been an active member of the committee called Ecolife in the neighbourhood of Yangi Hayat since 2020 and the reason why I am writing is to invite you to take part in an important local meeting we are having next Friday, which falls on the 26th of January.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Do we have to plan for future or stay focused on our present what is your opinion and why ? provide example to support your stand.