Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Traveling
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Travelling
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by plane is a popular transportation mode among tourists, especially those from out of town.
However
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, some argue that the high cost of
air
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travel
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makes it accessible only to the wealthy,
while
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others are left with no benefits. I disagree with
this
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view and will explain my reasons in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with,
airlines
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use market segmentation practices to target specific groups of customers.
For instance
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, premium
airlines
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like Garuda Indonesia under the SkyTeams Group cater to affluent
travelers
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travellers
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,
whereas
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low-cost
airlines
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like Lion
Air
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primarily serve ordinary people. In fact, Lion
Air
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has been operating in Indonesia for over 15 years and offers discounts and promotions to its customers, making
air
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travel
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more affordable for those with a standard monthly income.
Furthermore
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,
air
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travel
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can be more affordable if planned well in advance. Booking a ticket well ahead of the D-day can lead to lower prices compared to booking closer to the departure date.
Additionally
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, purchasing tickets during the low season can
also
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result in cheaper fares.
For example
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, those who book a ticket in March - typically a low season - can secure lower prices compared to those who buy a ticket in December - usually a peak season. In conclusion, contrary to the belief that
air
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travel
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is only for the wealthy,
airlines
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have options for different customers, including those with lower incomes.
Moreover
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, with proper planning,
air
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travel
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can be more affordable for everyone.
Therefore
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,
air
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travel
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is not a luxury exclusive to the wealthy but can be accessible to anyone who desires it.
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task achievement
Ensure that you are answering all parts of the task sufficiently. While your essay addresses the topic, going deeper into how ordinary people can specifically benefit from development in air travel, beyond just ticket pricing, would enhance the response.
task achievement
Your main ideas are clear, but you could improve by expanding on these ideas with more detailed examples and explanations. Furthermore, discussing the other side of the argument briefly, to show a more balanced view before asserting your position, could provide a more comprehensive treatment of the topic.
task achievement
While you did use relevant examples, you could include a wider range of more specific instances and details that demonstrate how air travel developments benefit ordinary people, such as economic benefits to communities or increased accessibility to international opportunities.
coherence cohesion
Remember to organize your paragraphs in a logical manner. Aim to have a clear central topic in each paragraph and ensure that there is a logical flow from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
You have provided both an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, make sure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and your conclusion summarizes the main points raised in the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has main points that are generally supported; however, try to develop these supports further. Add more depth and breadth to your arguments for a stronger impact. Remember that each main point should be clearly stated and followed by adequate and relevant elaboration.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible
  • democratised
  • low-cost carriers
  • budget airlines
  • globalization
  • international trade
  • luxury experiences
  • affordable flights
  • cultural exchange
  • environmental impact
  • eco-friendly
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