Air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. Ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Traveling

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Travelling

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by plane is a popular transportation mode among tourists, especially those from out of town.

However

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, some argue that the high cost of

air

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travel

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makes it accessible only to the wealthy,

while

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others are left with no benefits. I disagree with

this

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view and will explain my reasons in

this

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essay.

To begin

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with,

airlines

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use market segmentation practices to target specific groups of customers.

For instance

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, premium

airlines

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like Garuda Indonesia under the SkyTeams Group cater to affluent

travelers

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travellers

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whereas

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low-cost

airlines

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like Lion

Air

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primarily serve ordinary people. In fact, Lion

Air

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has been operating in Indonesia for over 15 years and offers discounts and promotions to its customers, making

air

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travel

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more affordable for those with a standard monthly income.

Furthermore

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air

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travel

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can be more affordable if planned well in advance. Booking a ticket well ahead of the D-day can lead to lower prices compared to booking closer to the departure date.

Additionally

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, purchasing tickets during the low season can

also

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result in cheaper fares.

For example

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, those who book a ticket in March - typically a low season - can secure lower prices compared to those who buy a ticket in December - usually a peak season. In conclusion, contrary to the belief that

air

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travel

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is only for the wealthy,

airlines

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have options for different customers, including those with lower incomes.

Moreover

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, with proper planning,

air

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travel

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can be more affordable for everyone.

Therefore

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air

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travel

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is not a luxury exclusive to the wealthy but can be accessible to anyone who desires it.

misstiasclassroomMon Nov 27 2023

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task achievement

Ensure that you are answering all parts of the task sufficiently. While your essay addresses the topic, going deeper into how ordinary people can specifically benefit from development in air travel, beyond just ticket pricing, would enhance the response.

task achievement

Your main ideas are clear, but you could improve by expanding on these ideas with more detailed examples and explanations. Furthermore, discussing the other side of the argument briefly, to show a more balanced view before asserting your position, could provide a more comprehensive treatment of the topic.

task achievement

While you did use relevant examples, you could include a wider range of more specific instances and details that demonstrate how air travel developments benefit ordinary people, such as economic benefits to communities or increased accessibility to international opportunities.

coherence cohesion

Remember to organize your paragraphs in a logical manner. Aim to have a clear central topic in each paragraph and ensure that there is a logical flow from one idea to the next.

coherence cohesion

You have provided both an introduction and a conclusion, which is good. However, make sure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, and your conclusion summarizes the main points raised in the essay effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has main points that are generally supported; however, try to develop these supports further. Add more depth and breadth to your arguments for a stronger impact. Remember that each main point should be clearly stated and followed by adequate and relevant elaboration.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

accessible
democratised
low-cost carriers
budget airlines
globalization
international trade
luxury experiences
affordable flights
cultural exchange
environmental impact
eco-friendly

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