IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

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Nowadays, more athletes consume
performance
Use synonyms
-enhancing
drugs
Use synonyms
 to
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
 their
overall
Linking Words
performance
Use synonyms
 in sports.
However
Linking Words
, the consumption of
drugs
Use synonyms
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
show examples
for instance
Linking Words
 anabolic steroids, eventually lead to severe consequences that have adverse effects on
players
Change noun form
players'
player's
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 health and reputation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Although
Linking Words
,
drugs
Use synonyms
 are used to enhance
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
performance
Use synonyms
. The benefits that were attained by the consumption of these substances quickly fade with time, gradually weakening the internal structures of the body that power daily movement.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
drugs
Use synonyms
 in the long run would lead to
formation
Add an article
the formation
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 of chronic diseases, respiratory diseases, and even cancer.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
drugs
Use synonyms
hinder
Correct subject-verb agreement
hinders
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 the
sprit
Correct your spelling
spirit
show examples
 of sportsmanship amongst athletes and is
consider
Change the form of the verb
considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cheating. Cheating in sports can result in penalties, huge fines and disqualification from the game, negatively impacting
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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. These
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 can be brought to a halt by implementing strict
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
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 to motivate players
in
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apply
show examples
to stop using these
substancing
Correct your spelling
substances
substance
 to enhance their
performance
Use synonyms
. Governments should
setup
Correct your spelling
set up
show examples
 camps to raise awareness amongst younger generations. Frequent and random tests should be conducted by the organising body to maintain fairness and those who are
resulted
Verb problem
apply
show examples
positive should be served with
lifetime
Correct article usage
a lifetime
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 ban as
this
Linking Words
 would discourage people by setting fear of getting their career ruined if they made use of these substances. In conclusion, these
drugs
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leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 towards nothing
expect
Correct your spelling
except
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 worsened
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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, mental fatigue and
harmonal
Correct your spelling
hormonal
 imbalance.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 contradicts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sportsmanship and makes individuals more selfish. I believe
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should take awareness camps and provide health
checkup
Fix the agreement mistake
checkups
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 for players so that they can make informed judgements. Event
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
 should consider proper testing before each game and
disqualificiton
Correct your spelling
disqualification
disqualifications
 should be normalised to discourage
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation from falling into the
rabit
Correct your spelling
rabbit
 hole of
Use synonyms
performance enhacing
Correct your spelling
performance-enhancing
 products and suppliments.

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coherence
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should ideally focus on a single point to enhance understanding.
cohesion
Use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will help in guiding the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your points about the consequences of doping and the effectiveness of proposed measures. This will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You effectively identified many consequences of doping, such as health issues and the impact on sportsmanship, showcasing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both aspects of the prompt, discussing the consequences of doping and measures to combat the issue, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anabolic steroids
  • Health ramifications
  • Stigmatization
  • Disqualification
  • Anti-doping agencies
  • Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs)
  • Integrity of sports
  • Biological passport
  • In-competition testing
  • Out-of-competition testing
  • Whistleblower
  • Ban substances
  • Suspension
  • World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA)
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