Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Traffic punishments are always a very polemic thing to discuss,
while
some people believe that they do not help to reduce traffic accidents, others think that it is the best option. I totally agree with these strict punishments due to
the impact they have in
people’s Change preposition
on
mind
and how it helps them to not repeat the infraction.
These Fix the agreement mistake
minds
type
of sanctions, stay in people’s Fix the agreement mistake
types
mind
for the rest of their lives. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
In addition
, this
has a very important impact in
their care driving in the future. Change preposition
on
According to
a study of the university
of Massachusetts, 80% of drivers who have been penalised Capitalize word
University
due to
driving offences, they do not commit a road violation again in the next 10 years. Nevertheless
, it
exists always the possibility Correct pronoun usage
there
to commit
another infraction.
Other people think that these sanctions are not Change preposition
of committing
the
way of stopping Correct article usage
a
the
road accidents. Correct article usage
apply
Disaccording
to my personal opinion, a sociologist from Alabama named Nicolas Jackson affirms that many citizens believe in the idea that these punishments only generate rancour and the offenders would not stop doing these offences only with a sanction. As Nicolas Jackson said, they think that a different type of punitive measure would be much better to reduce road violations Verb problem
According
such
as talks about the danger of bad driving or about anecdotes of people who have suffered an accident.
To conclude
, I think that the offenders of traffic rules should be punished with strict measures because this
would surely make them think about their actions and how to act to not repeat them.Submitted by santos_dij on
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task achievement
Strengthen the essay by providing more balanced coverage of both perspectives. Currently, the essay slightly leans more towards supporting strict punishments. Ensure that both views are given equal treatment to effectively address the task's requirements.
coherence cohesion
Work on smoothing transitions between ideas. Try using transitional phrases or sentences to link ideas more cohesively. This will improve the overall flow and coherence of the essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing different viewpoints, and a conclusion summarizing the writer's opinion. This contributes positively to the coherence and cohesion score.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both views related to strict punishments versus other measures for road safety, which fulfills the task's requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.