IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you think it is better for students to work before their university studies? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.

In my opinion, it is appreciated for
students
Use synonyms
 to work before enrolling in
university
Use synonyms
. There are many benefits to doing it. I will discuss my mentality in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one reason
supports
Correct pronoun usage
that supports
show examples
 the idea is the increasing skill and experience of the
students
Use synonyms
 who work prior to beginning in the
university
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a
student
Use synonyms
 who is enrolled in a pedagogical
university
Use synonyms
 and
opt
Correct subject-verb agreement
opts
show examples
 for an internship in a primary school. In
this
Linking Words
 period, the
student
Use synonyms
 becomes aware of what it takes to become a teacher and picks up some set skills
such
Linking Words
 as how to face bad news , impart knowledge , and especially presentations to the crowd .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, preparing for lessons is mandatory for every teacher.
Also
Linking Words
, it helps build up the planned working style not only in jobs but
also
Linking Words
 in studies.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it enables the
student
Use synonyms
 to set up more chances in the future.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it helps to develop emotion and money management skills. In the former, teaching a willful
student
Use synonyms
 is not easy to control temper , so the intern increasingly keeps calm and learns how to get rid of negative energy. In the latter, some of the jobs taken up by the
students
Use synonyms
 have low-paid salaries which may not be enough to cover all expenses. Particularly, for those who are dependent, it plays an important role
to have
Change preposition
in having
show examples
 a reasonable division of income.
Hence
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 teaches them how to save money and have smart spending. In conclusion, I believe there is no harm if
students
Use synonyms
 work before starting at the
university
Use synonyms
. It’s a time for them to gain experience and expand
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
 and
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to help the essay flow logically from one point to another.
task achievement
Develop and expand on your main points, supporting them with more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the conclusion summarizes your points effectively and ties back to the question asked.
task achievement
Restate the main task and ensure all parts of the question are answered with sufficient detail and relevance to the topic.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: