Some individuals think that the government should provide free healthcare for all citizens, while others argue that individuals should be responsible for their own healthcare costs. What is your opinion?

Easy accessibility and equity in healthy services as part of human rights should be ruled by authorities for the residents.
Therefore
, getting national health coverage from the government as part of national responsibility is a must.
However
, some people think that individuals must be paid their
healthcare
fees,
otherwise
, others assume that the authorities must hand over the residents'
healthcare
costs. From my point of view, these issues need to be tackled not only from the health paradigm itself but other things
such
as economics, education, and
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
. But, I totally stand with the government should be supported their citizen
healthcare
costs. Allocated the national coverage of
healthcare
costs from dwellers' tax is challenging. If the governments should support free
healthcare
for all citizens, it might be inequity for some people who do not have severe illnesses,
such
as diabetes, stroke, or any chronic diseases. Curating for chronic disease is supposed to need referral hospitals, prolonged hospitality, and interprofessional health workers.
However
, substituting the fundamental operational
healthcare
must be free, and for some exceptions
such
as some medical reasons
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
upgrading the facilities is optional.
In contrast
, considering
healthcare
payments through individual financial conditions without authority support is applicable. Because individuals are worth it to get the facilities that they are paid for.
Therefore
, the government could allocate securely the budget to accelerate educational systems or tailor social problem sectors. Because integrated connections with all sectors are truly key to the success of some nations.
To conclude
, it is still debatable about who should cover the
healthcare
payment for all citizens, whether the individuals or the governments. I argue that for basic needs, the authority should cover the expenses, but some exceptions are applied.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is sufficient, with a recognizable introduction and conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas could be improved. Make sure each paragraph has a clear central theme that is expanded upon, rather than several different ideas. Use linking words effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You addressed the prompt, but your response could be more developed. Clearly state your opinion and ensure that each paragraph aligns with that stance. Avoid contradicting yourself, and expand on your points with relevant examples and more detailed explanations to fully support your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: