In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose higher taxes on this kind of food.
Nowadays, fast
food
has become one of the most popular meals for Use synonyms
people
who live in metropolitan cities Use synonyms
due to
its convenience and affordability. Linking Words
However
, most Linking Words
people
are concerned about Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
problems
caused by fast Use synonyms
food
. In my opinion, I do not agree to Use synonyms
increase
the tax on Use synonyms
this
type of Linking Words
food
.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, fast Linking Words
food
is not the only cause of Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
problems
. Use synonyms
People
can have Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
due to
various factors. Linking Words
Governments
should not Use synonyms
increase
the taxes, but they have to provide Use synonyms
sport
facilities and gyms in different places, Change the noun form
sports
such
as in public parks, villages, Linking Words
health
centres, and so on. In order to Use synonyms
increase
healthy behaviour in Use synonyms
people
, the government should prepare affordable and convenient gyms because the main reason that Use synonyms
people
would rather not go to the gym is the price Use synonyms
of
the gym is very expensive. Change preposition
apply
Secondly
, for the sustainable healthy habits of Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
Governments
should collaborate with various organisations, Use synonyms
for example
, Linking Words
governments
can publicise Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
health
knowledge in schools or universities. Use synonyms
However
, the information about Linking Words
health
should Use synonyms
also
be not only in educational institutions but Linking Words
also
in the general public. Linking Words
Governments
may use other platforms to raise awareness about Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
problems
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, the Linking Words
increase
in fast Use synonyms
food
taxes may trigger Use synonyms
people
to reconsider consuming fast Use synonyms
food
because some Use synonyms
people
consume fast Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
due to
its affordable price. If the price of fast Linking Words
food
is rising many Use synonyms
people
may find some alternative Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
instead
of fast Linking Words
food
.
In conclusion, I do not agree with increasing taxes on fast Use synonyms
food
. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
governments
should prepare public Use synonyms
health
facilities and knowledge for Use synonyms
people
to be aware of the Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
problems
because fast Use synonyms
food
is not the only reason that causes Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
health
issues.Use synonyms
Submitted by matty10
on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure, however, the transitions between ideas could be enhanced by using more cohesive devices and better topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument. Each paragraph should ideally begin with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point you intend to discuss.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, the introduction could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the question. The conclusion does revisit the main argument, but ensure that it also summarizes your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are outlined, but some could be further developed with more elaboration or explanation. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that this idea is supported with specific examples or evidence.
task achievement
You have responded to the task by presenting reasons for not agreeing with the tax increase on fast food. To improve, be sure to directly and fully address all parts of the task, including potential counterarguments to your position, as this shows a comprehensive understanding of the issue.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they could be expanded upon to be more comprehensive. Consider exploring the implications of your arguments in greater depth to provide a more nuanced response.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and to demonstrate a clear understanding of the issue. Examples sustain your claims and make them more convincing, so try to include relevant and concrete details whenever possible.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.