IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Governments should fund scientific research rather than commercial organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#governments #fund #research #organizations
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It is argued that sponsoring scientific investigations should be more prioritized by government than giving away funds to commercial organization. In
this
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 essay I agree with
this
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 statement to the extent that injecting funds into
research
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 institutions might be more perspectively beneficial for
further
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 political development of the
country
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. I believe
this
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 kind of investment planning can result in both: the formation of more prestigous public image of the
country
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 and stability of inner govermnetal growth.  Doubtless,
research
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 centres and scientific succeess have always been major signifiers of high-developed countries. In
this
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 way, the ability to realize outstanding results in science is the tip of the iceberg; usually,
this
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 is the result of the complex system of factors: highly-functionning educational system,
as well as
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 secure social policy, garantees and accesibility of all sorts of resources for scientific
research
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.
For instance
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, over the span of first quarter of the 21st century the list of top countries, the most desirable for emigration and investments, were Germany and the US, known for their well-structured and highly competitive
research
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 institutions. Whilst the prestige of the
country
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 dictee by worldwide recognition of its
research
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 intitutions is a legit reason to boost it with investments, the less obvious but still crucial cause to financially prioritize
research
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 over commercial organization is development potential for governments. As far as investigating institutions are capable to educate and gather the vibrant community of the potential political elite of the
country
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, it is
also
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 an exelent source of analyzing governmental data and statistic to uncover potential risks or succesful strategies. As a relative example, I would provide the case of Kyiv School of Economics, the professioanals of which over the
last
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 10 years have been working on two main tasks: forming next generation of the Ukrainian govermental elite and investigating the most productive political models in Eastern Europe in 21st century in a cooperation with Ukrainian Counsil.
Thus
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, the program activity of
this
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 reseach institution positively impacts the governmental growth of Ukraine, which was demostrated in their recently published statistic.
To conclude
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, funding primarilly scientific organization would be stratigically beneficial in terms of governmental development,
due to
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 including different kinds of positive income of
such
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 a decision.
Submitted by ann.kaluger on

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task response
Consider introducing a clearer overall statement in your introduction. This helps to immediately establish your stance and make the essay easier to follow.
task response
Focus on developing a clear thesis statement early on. This will guide your argumentation and ensure that your essay has a strong, clear direction.
coherence and cohesion
Utilize more transitional phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs and within them. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a greater variety of sentence structures and lengths to enrich the text and keep the reader engaged.
task response
Be sure to directly address the prompt in each paragraph and tie back your examples and arguments to the question at hand. This ensures that your essay remains focused and on-topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • societal benefit
  • sustainable energy
  • equitable distribution
  • financial returns
  • bias and manipulation
  • integrity
  • large-scale projects
  • space exploration
  • accessible
  • transparency
  • public education
  • commercial secret
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